Your First Christmas in an Open Adoption as a Birth Mother
Having an open adoption in NY allows many opportunities to remain close and well with your child and their adoptive family. To a certain degree, you are family, so that means you should definitely feel confident enough to make plans with them during the holidays.
Being a birth mother, this can be a daunting task. You may feel fearful of overstepping your bounds or like it is not your place to include yourself but that is far from true. The best and easiest way to feel included is to just ask. They may be scared of reaching out like you are. The best thing that you can do is keep in mind how staying connected with your child can benefit them.
Keeping contact with your child will reduce any negative emotions that have about their adoption. They will not have to question whether you loved them or why you chose adoption. You can provide them with the answers they need to feel more confident in themselves. Maintaining a relationship with their adoptive family will also open doors for you to be invited to other social and family events that they have planned.
Keep reading to uncover these 5 ideas to use during your first christmas in an open adoption.
- ZOOM Meeting
In the midst of this pandemic, it can be hard to plan and accomplish social gatherings with your child and their adoptive family. Planning a ZOOM meeting can help you work your way around that issue. Many states are currently going back into lockdown, but in this age of technology that does not mean that you have to sacrifice family time too.
- Talk On The Phone
As a backup plan, if a ZOOM meeting is too much of a commitment for you, whether it’s work, family, or other responsibilities you or the adoptive family has, suggest a phone call instead. It can be as simple or as long as needed.
You could even give them a quick call in your own time to wish your child and their adoptive family a “Happy Holidays.” This way. if they or if you are busy, you have still extended some interest in communicating with them.
If you plan on having a longer conversation, prepare a list of suitable topics ahead of time. This tip is great for those who feel a bit anxious or overwhelmed with the entire process.
The first Christmas in an open adoption is hard, so this option is also great for those who want to make a small step and maybe are not ready to attend a holiday dinner or another type of in person visit.
- Bring gifts for your child and their adoptive family
Try and bring a gift for everyone. This will help everyone feel like a part of the family. Sometimes adoption can dredge up insecurities or fears that the adoptive family may have. Keeping a stable relationship with them is great for everyone, because it promotes a positive environment for your child to grow up in. You guys are on a team, so this tip will help keep things harmonious for the benefit of you, them, and mostly importantly your child.
Unsure of what to give your child’s adoptive parents? Try simpler gifts, like a holiday card or letter, hot chocolate, tree ornament, or peppermint candy. If you are still unsure, feel free to ask them or your adoption caseworker. If there are two parents, ask one of them what the other likes or needs.
If you cannot visit your child in person, you can always send your gifts to them through the mail, as well as the gifts for their adoptive parents.
- Make future plans
The pandemic has led to a huge shift in the life of multiple people. Weddings, graduations, parties, and other large events have been changed to next year. Despite feeling saddened by these changes, it can give us something to look forward to. The same goes for making future plans with your child and their adoptive families. It can be something as small or as large as you guys want. It could be a dinner, a road trip, vacation spot, or a simple game night to kick off the weekend.
- Cook or craft something fun together
Cooking together can be a great way to feel close with your child and their adoptive family. Showing some interest in some of their holiday traditions also will keep you close to the adoptive parents. They will look forward to including more in the holiday festivities since you have known an interest to participate in what customs they already have.
First Christmas in an Open Adoption
There are several perks to having an open adoption. It gives you the opportunity to not only know your child but the adoptive family as well. It also gives you the chance to spend time with them during the holidays. In a way, you guys are family, and these five ideas are a great start to planning holiday festivities with your child and their adoptive family.
Meet the Author: Latee Wilburn is an experienced blog/copywriter and social media marketer from the University of Georgia. She has written for many women’s lifestyle spaces, like Society19, BeautyDepot. She has also written for Adspire.us, a start-up working to inform young women in the ad/marketing industry, as well as tell the stories of the successful women before them. Her latest experience was writing and maintaining social media accounts for the true-crime community, MurderMurder News.
Her experience with writing expanded from childhood. It officially began after a creative writing course while she attended Perimeter College. The passion and love for writing quickly grew, and she began to hone her skills in social media marketing and copywriting. Fusing her two experiences to cultivate meaningful copy with an extra creative flair.
She’s currently finishing up her last year at UGA, majoring in Communications. She plans to attend graduate school to get a Master’s in Psychology and become a psychotherapist to help children and young adults with their mental well-being. Until then, she resides in her cozy reading nook in Georgia with her two dogs, Daisy & Peanut.