Will I Feel Guilty for Placing My Baby for Adoption?

By Kaitlyn Chrisemer

Many birth mothers fear they will feel guilty for putting their baby up for adoption later in their lives. These feelings can stop women from considering adoption or can make them feel bad about themselves in the future. They may feel forced down a certain path because they won’t be able to cope with the guilt. Women might also see themselves as a failure for placing their child for adoption. 

Our adoption agencies want to help you work through your feelings in this emotional process. We understand that adopting a baby can be a difficult journey with many different and strong feelings. Adoption Choices of New York has resources to help support you throughout your adoption journey. 

Why Birth Mothers May Feel Guilty After Adoption

It is normal to feel guilty after placing a baby for adoption. Guilt is a natural human emotion that many birth mothers who choose adoption feel at some point. One of the main reasons for this guilt is that they feel like they gave up on their child. This is mainly due to the stigma surrounding adoption and how the general public views it. Many people think of placing a child for adoption as giving up (on) the child. However, this viewpoint isn’t based on reality. 

Deciding that adoption is the best choice for you and your child takes a special kind of strength. Many people don’t like to admit there’s something they can’t do or aren’t ready for. Yet, this is exactly what placing a child for adoption is – admitting that you aren’t ready to raise a child. The strength it takes to acknowledge that your child could have a better life with another family is immense. Placing a child for adoption is not giving up. 

Another main reason a BM might feel guilty after placing their child for adoption is that they do want kids. Some women who find out they’re experiencing an unplanned pregnancy want kids later in their life. However, they may find themselves unexpectedly pregnant before they’re ready to have a family. If they decide to place their child for adoption, this can lead to feelings of guilt later in their life. 

Dealing with Post-Adoption Guilt

Although guilt is a normal emotion for birth mothers after adoption finalization, it is not necessary. Our NYC adoption agencies are here to help you work through these feelings. Remember that you believed adoption was the best decision for both you and the child. You should not be judged for this difficult decision, and you certainly shouldn’t judge yourself. Just because you weren’t ready when you found out you were unexpectedly pregnant doesn’t mean you can never have kids. No one should make you feel bad for understanding your capabilities and limits. 

Adoption Choices of New York can offer counseling after the adoption finalization to help you with any grief or guilt. Our adoption agencies in NYC are here to support you through every part of the adoption process, including after finalization. From considering adoption to making an adoption plan to post-adoption, we are here for you. 

Don’t let your feelings of guilt stop you from having a family of your own in the future. Just because you weren’t ready before doesn’t mean you will never be ready. If you are beginning the adoption process, don’t let guilt stop you from moving forward. There are many different reasons why adoption might be the best path for you, and circumstances may change over time. A past decision that you felt was right for you shouldn’t stop you from living your life in the future. 

Moving Past Adoption Guilt

Our adoption agencies in Albany, Buffalo, NYC, and Rochester can help you move on. We have counselors who can come to you and support you as you work through your feelings of guilt. We can even work with you preventatively, helping you decide which type of adoption will be best for you. If you feel that an open adoption will reduce your guilt, we can help arrange that. You may think that a closed adoption will offer you the most closure, so we can take that path. Your adoption process is your own, and we will help make sure you are comfortable throughout. 

Our adoption agencies are a judgment-free zone. We want to support you and help you do what you feel is best for you and the child. Adoption Choices of New York is available to assist with your adoption plan. Call us, text us, or email us; we are here for you!

Contact Us 24/7: 800-505-8592 (Phone) | 518-478-8420 | Click to Email

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