Understanding Why Birth Mothers Choose Adoption
By Eric Somarriba
For birth mothers who are pregnant and considering adopting out their babies, the biggest question can be why? It can either be you asking this to yourself or others around you questioning your decision. After all, having children is beautiful to most people, so why give yours up? Adoption is a big choice with many consequences, so most birth mothers don’t come to it easily. It can be down to your circumstances or beliefs, but everyone has their own reasons for choosing adoption. If you’re still not sure whether to choose adoption or not, below are a few examples of other mothers’ reasons. Adoption Choices of New York has helped guide women throughout every step of their adoption for over 17 years. We know that adoption is a tough decision to come to, so we want to help. It may be the right choice for you, or it may not be. Understanding why birth mothers choose adoption is not always so simple. There are many reasons why someone would choose adoption for their child. Regardless, these are some reasons that women choose adoption.
4 Reasons Why Birth Mothers Choose Adoption
1. Lack of Support During Their Unplanned Pregnancy
One of the most common reasons we see mothers choose adoption is that they don’t have the support they need. Raising a baby is no small task. It’s expensive, and many need emotional backing too. As such, any birth mothers who come to us lack the needed finances, emotional stability, or both. This is a tough reason that many mothers have to come to terms with. She may want to raise her baby but knows that child will then not have the life they deserve. Her job may not pay enough, or she’s alone and estranged from the loved ones who could help. It’s then ultimately a selfless choice to decide that someone else will be able to raise your baby properly.
2. A Different Life From Yours
This reason is similar to the one above but has its own qualities. A birth mother may be in similar circumstances to her parents and know a similar childhood will follow. Often birth mothers who come to this reasoning didn’t have the best upbringing and want something different for their child. If you’re currently single and a single parent raised you, it’s understandable to want a couple raising your baby. Single parents struggle immensely, and you may not want to go through that as well.
It could also be down to your area and its culture. You may now hold different values than the ones more common in your area. If moving isn’t possible for you, you then may want your baby raised somewhere else with people with similar beliefs. While our adoption agencies are in NYC, there are families across the country that come to us wanting to adopt. The adoption process with us involves creating an adoption plan where you decide what your child’s life should be like. It’s our job to meet that vision, and it can be as different from your upbringing as you need it.
3. No Desire to Parent Your Child
A birth mother may have the means to support her child but just doesn’t want to be a mother. This is different than just not feeling ready yet. We often see birth mothers who have never wanted motherhood. It sounds selfish, but no one should have to be a parent if they don’t want to. If you find yourself feeling like this, don’t think it makes you a bad person. You’re still carrying your child to term and showing them love by letting a family adopt them. If you know you have no interest in motherhood, then it’s best to give your baby to willing parents. Motherhood is a beautiful thing, but so is allowing a wanting couple the chance at parenthood. Our adoption agencies in Albany or beyond will never judge you for this reasoning. It’s your choice. At the end of the day, all of us just want what’s best for our baby.
4. As a Birth Mother, You are Feeling Pressured
One last reason we see is due to adverse pressure from the people surrounding the birth mothers. It could be a significant other or her parents if the mother is young. We always believe a birth mother should be the one in control of their adoption, but there are unfortunate expectations. Often with teen pregnancies, a mother doesn’t have the support of her parents, so adoption is a last resort. Or, as stated, a birth mother’s partner who has no interest in raising a child and pressures her into an adoption. It’s sad that this happens sometimes, but we will still do our best for you and your baby. Putting a baby up for adoption should be your choice, you still have a say with us. You’ll still be in control of your adoption plan and make your child’s life in the way you see fit.
Choosing Adoption in New York with Adoption Choices
No matter why you’re going through an adoption, we’re here for you every step. Your reasoning is ultimately your own. Our job is to support you and your interests. Even if your reasons aren’t like the above, we trust you’re making the best choice for you and the baby. Adoption in New York can be long and hard, but it will be worth it knowing your baby is in good hands.
To begin your adoption journey with us, contact one of our adoption agencies in NYC or elsewhere. Adoption Choices of New York is available to assist with your adoption plan. Call us, text us, or email us; we are here for you!
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