Why are People Afraid of Adoption?
By Anna Keller
If you live in the State of New York and are facing an unplanned pregnancy, one option to consider is placing your baby for adoption. Some people may even ask, why are people afraid of adoption?This may seem daunting or improbable, but agencies across the entire state are here to support you throughout your New York adoption process. If you are asking what some adoption agencies near me, particularly adoption agencies in NYC, one such agency are is Adoption Choices of New York. Our NY adoption agency provides full legal, financial and emotional support. A few other benefits include client confidentiality, free counseling, and the ability to choose your adoptive family. As a result, putting a baby up for adoption becomes a navigable and easier journey for young women facing unwanted pregnancies.
The Requirements of Parenting
However, no matter how much assistance adoption agencies in New York can provide for your New York adoption plan, fears can still arise. This is perfectly understandable, even normal. Women considering adoption may feel as though they will be viewed as a ‘bad mom.’ They may think that society will categorize them as innately bad parents, even if they already have children. But truthfully, the ability to provide an emotional connection to a child has little to do with it. There is much more to parenting than reading your kid’s stories or telling them you like their drawings. You must be able to financially support them for a minimum of eighteen years, and that is a serious commitment that not every birth mother can make.
Fears of Choosing Adoption
You may also be wondering: will I be hated for adopting out my baby? That is, will your child grow to resent you and feel as though you wanted to be rid of them? While this may surprise you, the answer is no. Children can be much more understanding than we give them credit for. Once they grow up and become more attuned to these complicated situations, they will show you more respect than you may expect.
Another common stigma of adoption is that the birth mother is selfish for doing it, which could not be further from the truth. It takes courage, strength, and a special brand of selflessness to go through with putting a child up for adoption. Think about what you are doing. You are growing a person, birthing them, just to let them go again so they can lead a better life than you would have provided. That is no easy feat, so do not let anyone tell you otherwise.
More Stigmas and Fears About Adoption
Some more common stigmas include the adoptive families. One such fear that many birth mothers harbor is that the adoptive parents will not love the baby as their own. In congruence with this, a similar fear is that the family will not keep their word about how they will care for your child. Adoption agencies in NYC and adoption agencies in Albany, for instance, broker a binding agreement between the birth mother and the adoptive family. Additionally, the birth mother has complete control over who she chooses to parent her child and the final say in which family she lands. While there are various types of adoption, such as open or closed, they all share one thing: the birth mother steers forward the process the entire time.
Another common stigma is that the child will not know how much they were loved. It is easy to fall victim to the assumption that once the baby is born, a permanent wall springs up between its birth mother and adoptive family. More often than not, this is not the case. In the case of open adoption, it allows open access to a communicative channel between the birth mother and the adoptive family. Therefore, if you are concerned about this particular segment of adoption, you can proceed with open adoption and be able to check in on your child. As a result, your child will grow up understanding how loved and cared for they are.
Overcoming Your Adoption Fears
You may be worried that open adoption is ‘bad’ for your child because it may be ‘confusing’ to have ‘two sets of parents.’ Remember that you are not co-parenting your child with their adoptive family. You are looking in from the outside, checking in, seeing how they are doing. It will not confuse your child because they will know who is really parenting them.
The True Source of Connection Between Parent and Child
You may also worry that your child may perceive their adoptive parents as ‘fake’ because they are not related by blood. We assure you that just because a parent and child are not biologically related does not mean they are any less connected. The innate bond that forms between parent and child knows no bounds of biology; it is created by love alone.
To sum it up, there are many excuses not to go through with the adoption, but there are many more reasons to take a leap of faith and try it. You would not only be creating life but providing a better opportunity for your baby. You don’t have to view your pregnancy as a mistake or something to be ashamed of. In fact, what you are doing is something to be proud of.