What Will People Think of Me If I Give My Baby Up for Adoption?
Adoption Choices of New York is here to support you during this difficult transitional period and your unplanned pregnancy. While adoption may be the best choice for you, you may have some fears of how others may see this choice. Adoption Choices of New York is ready to support you through these fears, worries, and anxieties, which is why we have written this article for you. Let’s dispel some of these worries about what others may think of you.
What will Adoptive Parents think of me if I place my baby for adoption?
It is very unlikely the adoptive parents will look at you in any other way than with gratuity, hope, and love in their hearts when you are placing your baby for adoption. You are giving someone(s) the chance to build their family, the most precious gift, your child. They wish to shower their love and care on your baby, and none of that is possible without you. You are the answer to all of their wishes and previously dashed dreams.
Your sacrifice and gift are the most sacred and beautiful things they could ever ask for, so of course, they could never be anything other than appreciative. If you agree to an open adoption with the adoptive parents, you will be a part of their family as well, to an extent. The degree of communication and association with the child and the family is something to be discussed between you, the parents, and any advocates/counselors assisting in the process prior to the completion of the New York adoption process.
What will my Birth Child think of me if I give him up for adoption?
Chances are, your child will take the lead from their adoptive parents because their parents will be the gateway of information in regards to their adoption and you. If you go through with a closed, private adoption without contact, adoption agencies usually store a letter or keepsake you may want your child to have. This is so that if in the future they come looking for answers and information surrounding their adoption, they can find the letter or keepsake you left for them while still respecting your legal right to privacy, as well as the wishes of the adoptive family. Even if you and the family decide to forego any contact, there is no reason they will not express the love and sacrifice involved with your decision to give your baby up for adoption. Besides, without you, they would not have their child, and their family would be incomplete.
What will my Family and Friends think of me if I choose adoption?
The most difficult conversation about your adoption will probably be with your family. Some family members may ask to adopt the baby themselves but do not often understand how hard this can be for the birth mother to constantly see their child and not be able to mother them. While this could be the right decision for some, for others, it may only add to the anxiety surrounding this choice.
The main thing to remember is that your family loves you and will support you in whatever you decide to do. Sometimes, we need to tell our families what we need from them to do what is right for us. Your family may express certain feelings, thoughts, and opinions that can be difficult to hear but are often because they think their opinion is what is best overall, rather than what is best for you.
Having these difficult conversations about what you need from your family during this time and process will only help in the long run. If you have the support and understanding of your family and friends, you will be able to focus on what is best for you and your baby and get any family drama out of the way sooner rather than later. In any case, after the adoption has been finalized, you may need someone to lean on as you deal with this, as well as any postnatal hormones, and who better than your loved ones to support you.
What will Strangers think of me after I put my baby up for adoption?
While there may be some busybodies who decide to judge, even without any facts, they will judge anyone, regardless of the situation. Unfortunately, dealing with judgmental people like that is a part of life. However, they are not the majority. Regardless of knowing your situation, even perfect strangers will respect that you had your reasons and wanted to give your baby their best chance in the world with a loving home and family. In the end, if an open or private adoption in New York is what you believe is best, your choices for yourself and your baby are the only opinions that matter.
If Adoption is the Right Choice for You, It Doesn’t Matter What Anyone Else Thinks
In the end, your decision about what is best for you and your baby is yours to make. The only opinion that matters in this situation, is your own, and most of the other opinions will reflect similar ideals of respect for your sacrifice. The few naysayers pale in comparison to the many who look at what you are doing with nothing but awe, gratitude, and reverence, especially the families who you are helping to create.
Adoption Choices of New York is available to assist with your adoption plan. Call us, text us, email us; we are here for you! If you are are facing a teen pregnancy, or if you are a pregnant woman in her 20’s, 30’s, 40’s or older, Contact Us 24/7: 800-505-8592 (Phone) | 518-478-8420 | Click to Email
Meet the author: Carly is a recent graduate of Connecticut College with a dual degree in Psychology and Italian Studies. Graduating Cum Laude with honors in both Psychology and Italian departments, Carly has a background in gender-related research through the Connecticut College Psychology Department and Honors Theses Program. When not trying to figure out life or working, Carly is reading historical fiction novels or playing with her black cat, Isabelle.