Types of Birth Fathers: Known vs. Unknown
Adoption is never a one-size-fits-all situation. Every birth mother is different and has a unique story to tell. With every birth mother comes a different type of birth father, too. Sometimes, the birth father is known and supportive of adoption. This can include any type of partnership: dating, married or cohabiting. However, not every birth father will care to involve himself in the adoption process. Many will not be present and will simply sign away his rights. In these cases, the birth father is labeled as unknown.
Adoption Choices of New York is here to inform and aid you, the birth mother, through any adoption scenario, regardless of the type of birth father. In this article, we will provide examples of different types of birth fathers–known vs. unknown.
Known Birth Fathers
When the birth father is known, often he and the birth mother are married, living together or dating. Ideally, he is supportive of the adoption process and stands behind the birth mother’s decision. It can be helpful for supportive birth fathers to be involved in the adoption journey, assisting the birth mother as needed.
In this case, you may decide how much you would like to involve the birth father in your decisions. He may come along to doctor’s appointments and meetings with adoption specialists and lawyers. You may create an adoption plan together with the birth father. As a team, you two may decide what the hospital stay will look like.
Unknown Birth Fathers
There are a few reasons the birth father may not be involved at all in choosing or meeting the birth parents. Sometimes, the birth father is not known. There are many reasons this could happen: a one night stand, not knowing the birth father’s name or having multiple partners. In some unfortunate circumstances, the birth mother could’ve been raped by a stranger.
We understand it can be difficult at times to locate the birth father or know with certainty who he is. As an agency, we do our due diligence to locate, identify, and contact the birth father. However, sometimes they cannot be contacted and are never found. If you are unsure of who the birth father is, don’t worry. Your adoption journey will still be allowed to continue without him.
Most adoptions do not include the birth father, so you don’t need to feel guilty if the birth father is unknown or unsupportive of your decision. Remember that you are never alone in your adoption journey–your adoption agents and specialists are always there to ease the process.
Unsupportive Birth Fathers
Sometimes, the birth father is unsupportive of adoption. Both known and unknown birth fathers may fall under this umbrella. The birth father may be aware he got somebody pregnant, but will not care. He will not want any part of the adoption process, aside from signing away his rights. Some birth fathers are abusive, making it so you don’t want him to have a role in the process. You can absolutely follow through with the adoption process on your own terms in cases like this, and you will find nothing but compassion and support from us as we match your child with a loving adoptive family.
Ultimately, every birth father is different. Some will support you in your decision of placing your baby for adoption, while others may not. But you don’t need to stress about this. At Adoption Choices of New York, we are determined to assist you through this journey and ensure you never feel alone. Regardless of the type of birth father — known vs. unknown — we are here to help.
Meet the Author: Tara Giuffre has always loved reading and writing and grew up in the worlds of Narnia, Harry Potter and A Series of Unfortunate Events. Taking this passion for stories, she received a degree from Rutgers University in Journalism & Media. Besides writing, she likes long walks on the beach, spending time with her family (and her cat, Sansa), and baking the perfect loaf of bread.
During her internship with Adoption Choices, she is looking forward to sharing vital information about adoption to families making important choices.