Top Facts about Adoption to Know as a Birth Mother in New York
Choosing adoption is a wonderful and selfless act that creates an entirely new life for each person involved. As a birth mother, there are many questions that come up during the adoption journey. It is a long process that can become quite stressful, but thankfully, there are adoption professionals that can help guide you through each step. Gathering information and facts about adoption before you begin your adoption journey can be helpful so you can focus on the parts that are most important to you.
Birth Mothers have the Final Word
Adoption plans are wholly created by and for you, the birth mother. You can get help along the way but ultimately each decision is left to your discretion. The more in-depth you get in your adoption plan, the easier it will be to find a matching adoptive couple. Adoption plans are unique and personal. Create guidelines regarding open or semi-open adoption, what type of communication you’d like and what type of family situation you want your child to be living in.
Adoptive Parents May also have Biological Children
Not all potential adoptive parents are unable to have their own children. Your child may grow up with a big family full of siblings, or maybe just another one or two. If you’re worried that your child will grow up alone, you can always put in your adoption plan that the adoptive parents must have one or two other children already. There is a common fear that your child won’t be as loved as their biological child(ren), but that’s simply untrue. Adoptive parents form a special loving bond to your child that is just as strong as their bond with their biological child. Many successful adoption stories involve adoptive families who have brought a child into their already bustling home.
Most Adoptions are Open or Semi-Open
The majority of prospective adoptive parents go into the adoption process knowing the adoption will most likely be somewhat open, if not fully open. Open adoptions are the new normal for many families. The type of communication each family has with the birth mother is completely up to you. Setting framework early will help the adoptive parents you’re interested in know what is expected and what boundaries will be set.
As a birth mother, you are completely in charge of what you’d like in terms of communication. You can communicate with the adoptive parents via text, phone call, email or through picture updates sent from the family. Some birth mothers send letters or physically see their child on special occasions.
Financial Assistance is an Option
It is not uncommon as a birth mother to need financial assistance during pregnancy. There are government programs that give aid to help cover utilities, rent and other bills. Some adoptive parents do want to help with costs regarding the pregnancy, like maternity clothes or medical bills. This is all decided with the aid of legal representation and the adoption professional helping you with your adoption journey. Depending on how far along you are in your pregnancy, you may be able to get financial help from both the state and the adoptive parents if it is something they want to do.
Open Adoptions can be Better for Your Child
A common fear among birth mothers is that their child will grow up resentful or feeling abandoned. Having an open line of communication as your child gets older can help settle or completely erase any negative feelings about their adoption. Instead, they can be raised to be proud of their adoption and know that you made the decision that was best for them. The experience makes adoption positive! Knowing their story keeps them in the right mindset about being adopted.
There are Many Ways to Screen Prospective Adoptive Parents
Adoptive couples looking to adopt tend to make a book about themselves including pictures of them, their family, their children if they have any and loads of information about their lifestyle and background. For some birth mothers, this isn’t enough to get to know somebody and many opt to an interview or just time carved out to spend with potential adoptive parents. You can make it relaxing by going to lunch together, or meeting somewhere public and going through whatever questions you may have. If you don’t want to meet in person right off the bat, your adoption professional can set up a phone interview and relay information through emails. The process is entirely up to what you’re comfortable with!
The process of adoption is chalked full of information with different routes to suit each individual birth mother. Knowing the facts about adoption versus what the myths are can help you sort out what you do and don’t want in your adoption plan. Things can be changed along the way; but, ultimately, you are in the driver’s seat.
Adoption Choices of New York is available to assist with your adoption plan. Call us, text us, email us; we are here for you!
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