Top 6 Myths about LGBT+ Adoption in New York
When you’re looking for adoptive parents for your child, you have many options to choose from. Varying life experiences and different personalities offer many different family experiences for your child. As you’re searching, you may encounter a lot of myths around LGBT+ adoption. As with anything that seems new or you may not have experience with, there can be a lot of misconceptions, and just because you’ve heard things doesn’t mean they’re true.
Here are six of the most common myths about LGBT+ adoption and some of the truths to help dispel them.
- LGBT+ parents will “turn your child gay”
There isn’t any undisputed evidence that being raised by LGBT+ adoptive parents will “turn your child gay.” After all, the sexual orientation of parents does not influence the sexual orientation of their children. If that were the case, then heterosexual couples or individuals would always raise heterosexual children, and we’ve seen that isn’t always the case. Many LGBT+ people have grown up with heterosexual parents. In fact, children raised by heterosexual and LGBT+ adoptive parents tend to have the same likelihood of being LGBT+ themselves.
- Children with LGBT+ parents will experience more bullying
Children with LGBT+ adoptive parents may get bullied or picked on by other children for having two moms or two dads, but children may get picked on by other children for any number of reasons. For the clothes they wear, the books they read, the way they look. Being raised by LGBT+ adoptive parents doesn’t make them any more likely to be picked on than any other child or for any other reason.
- LGBT+ people don’t provide stable homes
Having a stable home or not isn’t dependent on an individual or couple’s sexual orientation. An LGBT+ adoptive family can have a stable home, just as a heterosexual one could have an unstable one.
With Adoption Choices of New York, all our prospective adoptive parents are evaluated before they are allowed to adopt to see if they will be fit parents. These evaluations also include other aspects of what might influence the child, like the neighborhood the prospective adoptive parents live in and other factors. Furthermore, the prospective adoptive parents are interviewed during their home study about their philosophy on parenting.
- Children raised by LGBT+ parents will have social, psychological or developmental problems
Again, to be a prospective adoptive parent, the individual or couple has been vetted by Adoption Choices of New York, as well as required state laws and regulations, to deem them as fit adoptive parents.
Our agency ensures that adoptive couples and individuals are prepared to provide physically, emotionally and mentally for all the specific needs of your child. So, in terms of whether a child will be well adjusted or not, it’s not something that will be determined by the sexual orientation of the parents, but simply their relationship with their child.
- In LGBT+ couples, there are clear male and female roles
Many have argued that children need a mother and a father to raise them and that, in an LGBT+ couple, there isn’t a proper male and female role model. A similar myth is that LGBT+ couples always have one partner that fills a male role, and one that fills a female role. This isn’t even true for many heterosexual couples these days, so why would it be true for LGBT+ couples? As for needing a clear male and female role model, what’s more important for children is having parents who love them — no matter what gender, sexuality or conformity to society’s ideas about gender roles.
- Parenting is influenced by sexual orientation
Parents love their child(ren). There are no other requirements of sexual orientation, gender identity, race, etc. Parenting is hard no matter who you are. But people who love their children will try to do what’s best for them, no matter what. That’s what you’re looking for in prospective adoptive parents. People who will raise your child with love. Everyone is going to parent differently, but that’s going to be based on things like their personality and how they were raised, not their sexual orientation.
Top 6 Myths about LGBT+ Adoption
Now that you’ve seen some of the myths around LGBT+ adoption, we hope you’ll consider all your options in prospective adoptive parents. Get to know all sorts of different people who might make good parents for your child. Judge them not by how they look or what labels they use, but by how much love they will show your child and how they hope to raise him or her.
Any prospective adoptive parents will provide a stable home for your child, no matter what their sexual orientation. If you are considering LGBT+ adoptive parents for your child, please take the time to research all you can about LGBT+ adoption and ask your adoption caseworker all your questions. Also, get to know your child’s adoptive parents as soon as you pick them. This will help you understand them better not only as people, but also as the loving couple or individual who will be providing your child with their best chance at life.
Meet the Author: Darby Summers is an avid fan of fantasy and sci-fi stories in all mediums, and aspires to share a story of her own to add to the genres she has adored her entire life. Raised in a house with the rule: “You can stay up as late as you want, as long as you’re reading”, Darby’s passion for reading, literature, and language was inspired at a young age, and continued through her achievement of a Bachelor’s in English from Allegheny College in 2017.
When she isn’t absorbed in the latest series to capture her attention, Darby enjoys working on cosplays and going to cons with friends. Her perfect night consists of staying in playing games (of the video, board or card varieties), making some delicious homemade pizza, and settling in on the couch for a movie with her husband, Adam, and cat, Sylvie.