Having your child’s best interest at heart will always be on your mind. As the adoption journey continues, you will face many choices that you’ll have to make. One of those choices, and perhaps the most important decision, will be choosing the adoptive family for your child.
The perfect family for your child is something you have probably imagined before starting this journey. Adoption Choices of New York will help bring this vision to life. We want to give you comfort knowing that the destination of your child is one that will give them the best life possible.
Food for Thought
There are many adoptive couples and individuals who are waiting for their new child. Deciding on the couple that will be the destination for your baby may be overwhelming. It is beneficial that you have a rough outline of what you are looking for in your child’s new family. If you don’t know, adoption experts at Adoption Choices of New York will guide you throughout the process. But here are some family characteristics you should consider to help narrow your options.
Open vs. Closed
One of the first things to consider is the type of adoption you want, either open or closed. You will need to be matched with an adoptive family who has the same preference. A closed adoption means you will not have any contact with them or your child. This option might suit you if you want to move forward in a different direction. Open adoption allows for communication like sharing photos, texting, or video calling or even meeting in person. You might consider this if you want to get frequent updates on how your child is doing. Your relationship with the adoptive parent should primarily focus on the comfort and best interest of your child. Knowing the type of adoption you want will help you with the next characteristic.
Although you can’t choose where the adoptive parents live in the future, you still have a say in where your child will spend their childhood. If you had imagined your child to be raised in a rural area, it might not be best to choose adoptive parents who enjoy the urban lifestyle. You might also want a family in the same area or near where you live, either for comfort sake or to visit if you chose to have an open adoption. On the other hand, you could want them to have a different lifestyle than you completely. Your adoption specialist will be there to help you decide, since where your child lives can shape their development.
On the surface level, knowing the adoptive family’s occupation and education level will give you peace of mind for the child’s life. However, it is also important to know how the family functions and what their core values are because those will give you indications of how they will raise your child. Some details to ponder can be whether it will be a couple or a single parent. If they already have biological or adoptive children and whether or not they plan to have more children.
You can also acquire their reason for adopting and a rough plan on how they will raise the child if they are open to share. Ask them about the destination they see for the child, for now, or for the long term. If they are willing to talk about it, discuss religion or customs they will raise the child under. Ask what makes them think they will be good parents. You should not feel like you are demanding because, after all, this is the future for your child and your child is relying on you to make the best possible choice.
Living and Medical Expenses
You will not have to pay anything for your adoption plan. Depending on where you live, the adoptive family of your choice might be able to help you with financial assistance for living and medical expenses. Adoption Choices of New York will help you discern the laws for your state. They will also guide you on the right path to comply with the state’s laws to secure the appropriate and available federal aids for your pregnancy-related concerns/expenses.
Our Waiting List of Families
All pre-qualified adoptive families within Adoption Choices of New York have been patiently waiting for their dream child. In order for them to meet our standards, they are required to do a home study. This is when one of our social workers visit the home in order to learn about their occupation, marital status, medical history, lifestyle and much more. The social worker will also be able to learn about, if applicable, child abuse or criminal history. If they already have children, their interactions with their children will also be observed during the home study interview. The report is updated every 12 months if a child has not been placed into that family. What this means for you is that you won’t have to worry about your child being adopted into a harmful environment. Adoption Choices of New York will do everything in our power to ensure safety to all the children in our care.
Where We Come In
Your adoption expert at Adoption Choices of New York will work with you on matching your child to their forever home. This is done after all the intakes have been completed and generally after you have reached 16 weeks in your pregnancy. Our caseworker will select three to five prospective families according to the criteria you have presented to us. If we don’t have the perfect family for you within Adoption Choices of New York, we also have waiting families in several other states, including Nevada, Colorado and Oklahoma.
Your adoption expert will go over the potential families and information about each with you, either in person, electronically, or through email. We recognize that this might be an onerous process and you will be provided with time to decide. Once you have reached a decision, we will notify the adoptive parents and we will set up a meeting with the adoptive family if you want to meet them.
You Never Walk Alone
Keeping in mind the destination of your child when beginning your adoption journey can seem scary. But Adoption Choices of New York will be with you every step of the way. If you have any questions, please consult with your adoption expert. Our staff is always a phone call away. We will never allow you to walk alone.
Adoption Choices of New York
For more information on adoption or if you are currently in the process of adopting a baby and have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact, Adoption Choices of New York.
Support Adoption Choices
Adoption Choices, Inc. is partnering with Crowdrise, a fundraising website for nonprofits, to help our adoptive parents and birth parents with much needed financial assistance. We understand that expenses keep clients from fulfilling their dreams. Both with birth parents making a plan for adoption, and with adoptive parents growing their family. It is our mission to provide financial assistance through grants and scholarships, awarded annually in November, in honor of National Adoption Month. Funds assist adoptive parents with matching and placements, adoption finalization and helping birth mothers improve their lives through higher education — and much more.
However, we can’t do it alone. Please read up on our programs and donate money where you are able. Your donation will make a huge impact.
About the Author
Lisa Truong is an undergraduate journalism major at the University of Denver. She is minoring in writing and Chemistry. She has been commended by professors for her news stories as well as creative writing.
During her freshman year, her essay “See Ya on the Other Side” was displayed at a writing exhibition sponsored by the University of Denver. That essay later went on to be published in Many Voices One DU, a book also sponsored by the university.
Lisa frequently volunteers to be a leader at the Daniels School of Business for their quarterly Ethics Boot Camp where students learn about the importance of character in business. In her free time, Lisa enjoys watching animated movies with her mother, listening to music, going for bike rides, and eating breakfast food.
“7 Considerations For Birth Mothers When Choosing Adoptive Parents.” Adoption Network. https://adoptionnetwork.com/7-considerations-for-birth-mothers-when-choosing-adoptive-parents.
“Child Placement & Matching.” Adoption Choices of New York. https://www.adoptionchoicesofnewyork.org/adopt-a-child/matching-child-placement/.
“Common Questions About Homestudy.” Adoption Choices of New York. https://www.adoptionchoicesofnewyork.org/adopt-a-child/home-study/common-questions/.
“Guide To Choosing An Adoptive Family For Your Child.” Adoption.com. https://adoption.com/guide-to-choosing-in-adoptive-family-for-your-child.
“Guidelines for Choosing an Adoptive Family.” American Pregnancy Association. March 30, 2016. https://americanpregnancy.org/adoption/guidelines-choosing-family/.