Six Reasons Birth Mothers May Choose Closed Adoption in New York
Every birth mother has a unique and personal adoption story. It is an altruistic decision that ensures your child will have the best life, even if that means you are not the one raising him or her. As the birth mother, you are the sole decision maker during the adoption process, which means each journey is a one of a kind. However, there is no need to go through it alone.
We are here to help at Adoption Choices of New York. If you are experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and are considering closed adoption, you can receive information, a listening ear and speak to other birth mothers who have chosen this type of adoption.
1. There is a Sense of Closure
One of the reasons birth mothers may choose closed adoption is to create a sense of closure for herself. Loving your child does not equate to being part of their new life once he or she is placed with the adoptive family. Some birth mothers feel, in order to move on with their lives, hard boundaries need to be set in place. If you are feeling that way, you are not alone.
You will spend a lot of time getting to know the adoptive family of your choosing and creating a bond built on trust and mutual love for your child. By choosing closed adoption, you are giving complete trust over to the adoptive family in a bond that is unlike any other. From one loving heart to another, your child is coming first without you having to sacrifice your own mental health.
2. Privacy for the Birth Mother
Unfortunately, there are situations that lead to an unplanned pregnancy that some women do not want to be reminded of. This does not mean that you do not love your child. Rather, that it is best for both of your mental states that you do not raise the child yourself. Closed adoption will provide distance between you and your child, which, ultimately, will allow you to move on knowing you chose the right adoptive family to raise your child in a home full of love and care.
If you want to keep your unplanned pregnancy private, closed adoptions give you that security. You can move forward and not have to worry about anyone discovering your private business.
3. A Clear Family Structure
Another one of many reasons birth mothers may choose closed adoption is to provide a traditional family structure for their child. By allowing the adoptive family to be the only family the child interacts with, it gives a clear sense of who the parents, grandparents and so on are. There aren’t any blurred boundaries that may confuse the child when they’re young and unable to fully understand the details around their adoption.
4. Inconsistency in the Birth Mother’s Life
There may be aspects in your life that are both uncontrollable and inconsistent. Stability is extremely important for children even in the very beginning. Being aware that your situation would not be able to sustain consistent involvement in their child’s life does not mean you are giving up on being involved. You are truly doing what is best for your child and their future.
5. Closed Adoption is not as Overwhelming
Other forms of adoption can be extremely mentally taxing. Having a partial and constrictive role in your child’s life may put too much mental strain on you. Some birth mothers may not be able to toe the line of being half in and half out of their child’s life. There is no shame in that!
If choosing closed adoption is the best choice for you and your child, then you are doing what is right. Every birth mother is different. That is why you are in charge of the adoption journey. You know what is best.
6. Unplanned Pregnancy at a Young Age
Pregnancy at a young age can be scary and overwhelming. If you find yourself in this situation you may feel you have a lot you want to accomplish, or that you haven’t even started living your adult life yet closed adoption can offer you that chance. You may just not feel ready to raise or be involved at all in your child’s life and that is perfectly okay. Closed adoption leads to a positive ending to your pregnancy and adoption journey. You are able to move forward after placement and the adoptive family is able to start their new life as parents.
Why would You Choose a Closed Adoption?
If you’re considering a closed adoption and need guidance, we are always here to offer whatever help we can at Adoption Choices of New York. There are a lot of choices to be made when beginning your adoption journey, but you are not alone. No matter what adoption plan you choose for your child, we are here to guide you throughout the entire adoption experience.
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