New York Open Adoption Pros and Cons

From the turning of the 1970s, open adoption has continued on the trend of being the most common of its type for both birth mothers and adoptive families. You may ask, what exactly is open adoption? If interested in gaining some answers to that question, click here to learn more. Since those times, it has been recognized and regarded as being the most prosperous out of the three adoption choices for both birth mother and child. 

There are some fairly obvious ones you may be able to point out for yourself, but Adoption Choices of New York is going to share with you what makes open adoption so great, and possibly, not so great. 

Here are some pros and cons about open adoption we have put together for you.  

Cons of Open Adoption

• You may Experience Regret/Grief after Your Adoption Journey

We know all too well what feelings and emotions birth mothers may go through when they are first navigating the adoption process. There might be some symptoms of sadness or regret in whether you are making the right choice or not. Questioning your decisions and feeling indecisive is a natural thing to feel. Sometimes it may even go as far as to whether you are doing the right thing in going through with your adoption plan. 

During those times, you may find yourself thinking of all the possible opportunities and moments you may miss in witnessing your baby grow up. Even with such a free and open channel of communication, you could still feel distant there because your baby is no longer in your care.

When and if you do experience these things, it is important to remind yourself you are not alone in feeling this way. Draw strength in knowing that you are doing the right thing and giving your baby a brighter future, a future in which you get to see. 

• An Open Adoption can Feel Overwhelming

There are so many things being asked of birth mothers when they first start the initial processes of their adoption plan. That can include communication levels, family dynamics, and, of course, the adoptive families themselves. With so much riding on your input, thoughts, and intuitions, the situation can turn overwhelming quickly. Every birth mother wants to pick the right adoptive family for their child. Anything less than that is seen as unacceptable. Ideally, we want to be able to agree on everything. We want everyone to be on the same page and say ‘yes’ to all terms. But we know there will be disagreements here and there.

That said, it is your baby, your adoption plan, and your right on who you choose to put your baby in the care of. None of that can be taken away from you. 

• Thee May be Some Boundary Issues in an Open Adoption

So, we know the main positive of open adoption is it’s fairly free line of communication between the birth mother and the adoptive family. But, where and when do either of them potentially cross that line? It is very common for birth mothers to feel they still hold some sort of power or responsibility over their child, even though they are within the adoptive family’s care now. It all comes down to communication and coordinating with one another. 

Pros of Open Adoption

• Open Adoption allows You to Stay in Your Baby’s Life

A large majority of birth mothers want to see their child grow and age up. They still wish to be alongside their child even after the adoption has been closed and finished. Open adoption gives you the option to do exactly that. Those terms and negotiations previously agreed upon will help shape and form what that will look like for both them and you. 

• Control Still Lies in Your Hands with an Open Adoption

We know you want to be reassured that your baby will be placed in the right hands. You want to feel safe in the decisions you made. Open adoption, in particular, gives you the opportunity to ultimately set the stage on what the relationship you, your baby, and the adoptive family will maintain together. 

You yourself wield the means to shape the incoming years of your baby life. Again, this is your adoption plan and your child. You hold every right to shape it in what best suits your interests and theirs. 

• You can Answer Your Child’s Questions in an Open Adoption

Children are naturally inquisitive. They want to ask and learn why things are the way they are. Adoptees are no exception to this. They may have questions about their origins. About you and their family history. Providing these answers brings some security to his or her still developing identity, which is very impressionable from a young age. So, you bringing in some gravity and a sense of belonging can strengthen the bond that holds you together. Being there and present when they have deep inquiries on where they come from can prove beneficial to not only you and them, but also to the adoptive family who may not have all the right things to say. 

If there are any other lingering questions in regards to pros and cons of open adoption, visit our blog page and see what else we can provide! 

Adoption Choices of New York is available to assist with your adoption plan. Call us, text us, email us; we are here for you!
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Meet the Author: My name is Alexander Charles Cooper, I come from a family of four that originates from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. I, along with my younger brother Greyson were born in North Carolina, three years after my parents had wed and moved to the state. My birthday is April 4th, 2000, which is where I draw my lucky number four being from. I share that birthday with Maya Angelou, which I take pride in, for she is a great poet and author herself, her passion for writing is something I share with her also. 

Growing up, I had the privilege of having both of my parents in my life and a stable upbringing in which I was surrounded by family and friends constantly. Every need was provided and my parents worked to give me any want or desires that were within their means to gift and that I earned. Much of my family foundation is built on faith which has given me a discipline and practice that has allowed me to discover and build my spiritual self. My mother has been my biggest spiritual teacher and has taught me many things in regards to prayer and other lifelong wisdom that aides me every day. As I grew older and my understanding of the world expanded, I took an interest in politics and worldly news that allowed me to excel in American literature, philosophy/ethics, and higher learning. 

From that, my passion in writing bloomed and I found what my true calling was; I wished to create and write for a living and knew it was what made me happiest. My only wish is for me to bring about positive change for others both near and far and leave a lasting legacy that contributes to the overall wellbeing and joy of others.