New York Adoption Services: What is Semi-Open Adoption in New York?
Adoption is full of choices, big choices. Adoption itself is a choice—your child’s adoptive family is a choice, even the counseling you receive is a choice. Having options is a wonderful thing; it empowers you to take control of your life. But choosing a type of adoption can be stressful, and we completely understand. When you’re choosing the type of adoption you want for your child, a closed adoption might feel claustrophobic and final. In contrast an open adoption might feel overwhelming and too familiar.
Semi-open adoption is the middle ground between those two. You have control over how much of your information you’ll share, how much you will speak with the adoptive family, and how. Better yet, Adoption Choices of New Yorkwill facilitate communication through ChildConnect, so that you don’t have to stress. Before you decide, we’ll answer all of your questions about semi-open adoption in New Yorkso that you can make sure it’s right for you.
How does semi-open adoption in New York work?
In a semi-open adoption, you and the adoptive family have control over how much identifying information you share and how you’ll communicate. You’ll also be able to choose your adoptive family.
You can receive updates about your child however often you and the adoptive family would like, all facilitated through our adoption agency and a program called ChildConnect. You can even decide how much you want to communicate during the adoption process and the post-adoption journey. Semi-open adoption in New York is protected by the courts, meaning that you’ll be able to stick to whatever kind of communication you and the adoptive family agree upon.
How would I communicate with my child’s adoptive family?
Communication is as open as you want it to be! While direct communication is possible, usually indirect communication is the norm.Adoption Choices of New Yorkmediates its semi-open adoptions through ChildConnect, a confidential program where you and the adoptive family can share messages and memories. You might also communicate through phone calls, letters, photos, and video calling, depending on the openness of your adoption. Your adoption journey is in your hands — it’s up to you and the adoptive family to decide what works best.
What are the pros of semi-open adoption?
- Your child will have answers about his or her adoption journey. And the best part is, you’ll be able to answer those questions yourself. You can show your child who you are, where he or she came from, and how much love you have for your child. The adoptee never has to feel unwanted from not knowing you. You can show your child that adoption is something you chose out of love for him or her. Communication will be indirect, but it will make a difference in your child’s life.
- You can easily share your medical history with your child. In a closed adoption, it is challenging to access medical information. The adoptee might feel as though they have to jump through hoops only to gather the necessary medical history. Easy access to medical records means that if your child can avoid and manage health issues. Choosing semi-open adoption could protect your child in the future.
- You may find closure when you see your child safe and happy. In a closed adoption, you might constantly wonder how your child’s doing. But through semi-open adoption, you’ll have the distance you need to find closure along with the updates, you’ll need to feel secure in your choice.Many birth mothers feel comfort in seeing their child happy, seeing the adoptee hit milestones, and even knowing the little things, like their child’s favorite TV show.
- You may easily maintain boundaries with the adoptive family. People who choose semi-open adoption usually do so because they don’t want to be cut off from their child, but they want to maintain boundaries and control. They want to protect the adoptee while still letting them know that they’re there. Some birth mothers may be uncomfortable with the closeness of open adoption, and semi-open adoption defines times, methods, and frequency of communication. You and the adoptive family may also change some rules, as long as you both agree upon it. Direct contact is possible. However, our agency may facilitate all communication
- , which means you only get exactly what works for you out of the adoption.
What are some cons of semi-open adoption?
- Disagreements about communication can occur. In a semi-open adoption, you and the adoptive family may agree at first about how you’d like to communicate, but as time passes, your wants and needs might change. The adoptive family may want to shift to less contact and updates as the child gets older, while you might want something different. The future is unpredictable, so naturally, you can’t control everything.
- Your wants and needs might change. When you choose a more closed adoption, you might do so because you need space to heal. As time passes, you might see that you do want a relationship with your child. In an open adoption, this is possible. But in a semi-open adoption, it’s less likely. You can turn a semi-open adoption into an open adoption, but this would be something both parties would have to agree with.
- Loss of contact. In a semi-open adoption in New York, our adoption agency would facilitate communication between the birth mother and the adoptive family. Because you’re not communicating directly, it is not uncommon for both parties to lose contact as time moves on. This includes contact with the child.
Is Semi-Open Adoption Right For You?
Contact us at Adoption Choices of New Yorkfor more information! We know that every birth mother needs something different out of their adoption journey. At our adoption agency, we’ll walk you through all the different kinds of adoption so that you may find the best choice for you.
Meet the Author: Tara Giuffre has always loved reading and writing and grew up in the worlds of Narnia, Harry Potter and A Series of Unfortunate Events. Taking this passion for stories, she received a degree from Rutgers University in Journalism & Media. Besides writing, she likes long walks on the beach, spending time with her family (and her cat, Sansa), and baking the perfect loaf of bread.
She enjoys sharing vital information about adoption and birth mothers choosing adoption to families making important choices for their future family!