Most Common Questions Birth Mothers have about Adoption
Putting your child up for adoption is a selfless act, but the process itself can raise many questions for birth mothers. Plenty of birth mothers share the same concerns and questions regarding the adoption process as a whole. There are a few different routes to take that will shape your adoption journey, but many general questions have the same answers across the board for all adoption plans.
Here are some of the most common questions birth mothers have about adoption.
Is Adoption Safe?
The first question birth mothers often ask themselves regards the safety and legality of adoption. You’re putting yourself and your baby in the hands of people who start off as strangers, so it’s completely understandable that you want to ensure that adoption is safe. After all, you are the birth mother and only want what’s best for your baby.
Adoption is completely safe through reputable adoption agencies like Adoption Choices of New York. Our vetting process for the adoptive parents is extremely thorough as well. There are laws in place to protect you and your child. One of our adoption attorneys will be readily available for you at no cost if you have more in-depth questions about the legal process.
Open and Semi-Open Adoption: What’s The Difference?
Modern adoptions typically fall into two categories: open and semi-open adoption. Questions from birth mothers about the difference happen quite often in the beginning stages. Both types of adoption have open interactions available for the birth mother, but the degree is what makes the difference.
While all adoptions look different due your full control as a birth mother, open adoptions typically fall under the umbrella of having all forms of communication open between yourself, the child and adoptive parents. This includes texts, phone calls, photos and possible physical visits or being included in things like your child’s birthday celebration.
Semi-open adoptions have some of these elements but are not as detailed. Post placement photos and letters are sent through the mail. Some birth mothers choose to only communicate through the mail while others exchange texts with the adoptive parents periodically. The birth mother decides the extent of communication but the more communication is added the more ‘open’ the adoption becomes. In instances of semi-open adoption, there is usually a mediator provided by the agency and chosen beforehand to administer the communication.
What is the Adoption Process while Pregnant?
When adoption begins in the very first stages of pregnancy, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. One of the biggest reliefs that comes from starting the adoption process early, though, is having your child’s adoptive family ready when the baby is delivered.
Adoption processes begin by finding the adoption agency you’d like to go through. From there, your adoption caseworker will take all the necessary information and begin to help you decipher what kind of adoption plan you want. They’ll help you vett potential adoptive parents and walk you through all the different options regarding open and semi-open adoptions. You can decide if you want the potential adoptive parents involved in the pregnancy at all or if you want them to wait until the baby is born to interact beyond vetting.
Deciding what you want to happen at the hospital is another part of the adoption process in New York. This includes choosing where you want to give birth, if you want the adoptive parents in the delivery room and if you want time with your child during your stay.
What About Financial Assistance?
Another one of the most common questions birth moms have about adoption revolves around financial assistance during pregnancy. Many adoptive parents want to help you during pregnancy by providing maternity clothes, prenatals or with any medical bills related to the pregnancy. Depending on your state, adoptive parents can help with rent or utilities up to a certain amount. Some states have a limit on months adoptive parents can provide financial assistance so it’s best to research your area first.
Do You Meet the Adoptive Parents?
Part of the vetting process is meeting the adoptive parents if you want to. It is an extremely common practice, but the event itself varies depending on what you want. Some birth mothers choose to meet the adoptive parents or a few different couples and interview them along with the adoption agency. This gives you the ability to truly see how they are in person and develop a connection before placement. Some birth mothers have the adoption agent handle the interview and others only speak on the phone.
Couples looking to adopt are open to meeting you in person, so don’t be afraid to ask about face to face meetings. Your adoption caseworker will be there to guide you through the interview and help you if you’re unsure about what questions to ask.
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