Carrying a child is no small feat. Giving birth to a new life is something even more extraordinary. When a prospective birth mother chooses you to raise and take care of her child, it is a priceless gift. Oftentimes, adoptive parents want to repay the birth mother in some sort of way after she has given birth.
In many cases, giving a gift to your birth mother requires consulting your adoption agency as it can be a delicate subject. Talking to your agency can help sort out legal issues. This is why Adoption Choices of New York wants to work with you on what is an appropriate gift for the woman giving you your bundle of joy, the woman making your dreams of parenthood reality.
Birth mother gifts ideas can vary in size and value. What is important to consider is that, because of the unique relationship between birth parents and adoptive parents, your gift should manifest sentimental meaning in some way. The gift should also be accommodating to the emotional state of the birth mother.
What to Give
The list below provides birth mother gift ideas for when you’re meeting her either at the hospital, during the finalization of your adoption, or at any other important event pre-adoption finalization.
- Jewelry – A piece of jewelry is a great gift idea for your child’s birth mother. This way, she’ll have a memento to remember her adoption experience. Whether it is the child she placed for adoption or you, the adoptive parent she befriended for life. Necklaces and bracelets are popular choices because they can easily be customized. For instance, you can choose to engrave one with your baby’s initials or a quote you all share. The customization, while one-of-a-kind, should be easy for the mother to talk about with others without feeling uncomfortable.
- Post birth recovery basket – While giving birth is no small accomplishment, the recovery stage is crucial. This stage can be even more difficult for a birth mother because of the emotions she’s feeling towards her experience and placing her child for adoption. Having a post birth recovery basket can be healing in and of itself! The basket does not need to contain anything fancy or expensive. You can put items like lotions, stool softener, hot/cold packs for swelling, chapstick, etc in it. These will help allow for a more pleasant recovery.
- Flowers – After a hard journey, it is always nice to see flowers. Aside from the beautiful sight they provide, flowers are a great way to welcome the baby into the world as well as comfort any feelings of loss a birth mother might be experiencing. There are meanings behind different flowers, so make sure the flowers you get have the correct message you wish to relay.
- Fruit basket – Your child’s birth mother will need a healthy supply of nutrients post birth, and fresh fruits are a fantastic way of achieving this. They contribute fiber, which will help with constipation – preventing it in most cases.
- Stuffed animals – Not only are stuffed animals designed for babies, but they are also a perfect fit for birth mothers post birth. Soft bunnies and teddy bears serve as comfort for birth mothers when they feel lonely or are grieving. You should try and get a stuffed animal that closely resembles the baby. Or you can find a matching set, one for the birth mother and one for her child to have while growing up.
- Photo album – This organizes the photos collected during pregnancy and while at the hospital. It can include memories from both the birth parents and the adoptive parents as a commemoration of your beautiful journey. Most definitely, it should have pictures of the baby. Leave empty spots for photos or even letters you will send the birth mother of the baby in the future . It would also be a fun activity to decorate the photo album cover together to create a more meaningful connection. That is, unless you want to keep the gift a secret from the birth mother.
- Recovery gift basket – Recovery gift baskets are different from post birth baskets. The latter are things to help with the physical restoration of the body while the former is something she can take home. Items in the gift basket should be things your child’s birth mother can use in the long run for both physical and mental healing. Things to include can be spa-related, such as lotions and bath bombs, comfort-related, such as fuzzy socks and pajamas, or leisure-related, such as chamomile teas and magazines.
- Gift cards – Monetary gifts can be tricky, so be sure to talk to your adoption agency before proceeding with your gift. Gift cards, though, can be essential to birth mothers when acquiring items they need post-birth. What’s critical to think about is that you make sure your gift doesn’t feel like a transaction, like you’re paying her for the baby. Rather, it is to pay respect for the pain she endured and will continue to. Gift cards for meal delivery services like Postmates or DoorDash are hidden gems!
- Handcrafted keepsake boxes – It is plausible that you will be sending gifts to birth parents every now and then, either on holidays or birthdays. You may even send something of the child, such as a drawing. Having a box that you made will make the birth mother feel more welcomed into your family, make her feel appreciated. It will also consolidate your promise to have an open relationship and open communication.
- Time – After giving birth and completing paperwork, the birth mother might feel lonely, no matter her family circumstances. Time is an invaluable and irreplaceable gift. She will need the adoptive parents around to talk to and rely on. It will be a vulnerable time for her, and she needs to know that she can trust you before handing over her child. You will also benefit from learning more about her, which can help both families connect.
Birth Mother Gift Ideas
Every adoption process is different and so is every birth mother. Thus, her needs and healing will differ. If you have questions regarding gifts, contact your adoption agency to make sure what is suitable and legal. All in all, gifts should hold meaning and be precious for both families.
Adoption Choices of New York
Over the past seventeen (17) years, Adoption Choices of New York has helped many individuals and couples make adoption plans and complete their families through the miracle of adoption. Our staff has well-established relationships with agencies and attorneys across the nation, as well as Adoption Choices agencies in many other states. As a leader in the adoption community, we have a genuine commitment to a sensitive, comprehensive and supportive experience for all involved in the adoption journey. We are dedicated to ensuring that your adoption is processed in a professional, competent and caring manner and would be delighted to answer your questions.
For more information on adoption or if you are currently in the process of adopting a baby and have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact us.
Support Adoption Choices
Adoption Choices, Inc. is partnering with Crowdrise, a fundraising website for nonprofits, to help our adoptive parents and birth parents with much needed financial assistance. We understand that expenses keep clients from fulfilling their dreams. Both with birth parents making a plan for adoption, and with adoptive parents growing their family. It is our mission to provide financial assistance through grants and scholarships, awarded annually in November, in honor of National Adoption Month. Funds assist adoptive parents with matching and placements, adoption finalization and helping birth mothers improve their lives through higher education — and much more.
However, we can’t do it alone. Please read up on our programs and donate money where you are able. Your donation will make a huge impact.
About the Author
Lisa Truong is an undergraduate journalism major at the University of Denver. She is minoring in writing and Chemistry. She has been commended by professors for her news stories as well as creative writing.
During her freshman year, her essay “See Ya on the Other Side” was displayed at a writing exhibition sponsored by the University of Denver. That essay later went on to be published in Many Voices One DU, a book also sponsored by the university.
Lisa frequently volunteers to be a leader at the Daniels School of Business for their quarterly Ethics Boot Camp where students learn about the importance of character in business. In her free time, Lisa enjoys watching animated movies with her mother, listening to music, going for bike rides, and eating breakfast food.
“13 Meaningful Ideas for Birth Parent Gifts.” American Adoptions Blog. August 04, 2017. Accessed July 05, 2019. https://www.americanadoptions.com/blog/13-meaningful-ideas-for-birth-parent-gifts/.
Care.com, Inc. “What Can I Bring To The Hospital As A Gift For New Parents?” Care.com. Accessed July 05, 2019. https://www.care.com/c/questions/2565/what-can-i-bring-to-the-hospital-as-a-gift-fo/.
Exploadmin. “6 Perfect Gifts for Birth Moms at The Hospital – Adoption Products: Adoption Day Gifts for Child or Parents.” Adoption Products | Adoption Day Gifts for Child or Parents. April 30, 2019. Accessed July 05, 2019. https://adoptionproducts.com/perfect-gifts-birth-moms-hospital/.
LinzyC. “Hospital Gift for Birthmom?” BabyCenter Community. April 02, 2017. Accessed July 05, 2019. https://community.babycenter.com/post/a65918056/hospital-gift-for-birthmom.
“Postpartum Diet and Exercise.” Parenthelp123. Accessed July 05, 2019. https://www.parenthelp123.org/pregnancy/after-pregnancy/postpartum-nutrition.