I’m Pregnant, What are My Adoption Options in New York?
So, you’re pregnant and considering adoption. You’ve already taken a huge step in making this decision— we know it isn’t easy. An unexpected pregnancy has happened, but you’re taking steps in a direction that works for you. You’ve chosen adoption and are ready to start your journey as a birth mother. But what’s next? What are your adoption options in New York?
At Adoption Choices of New York, our adoption agency in New York, we help birth mothers like you through the adoption process. We’ll make sure you understand all of your options as a birth mother. Deciding between closed adoption, semi-open adoption, and open adoption isn’t always easy— but we’re here to help.
- Closed AdoptionIn a closed adoption in New York, Adoption Choices of New York will only share non-identifying background information about the adoptive family and the birth family. All identifying information, such as the name and age of the birth mother, is kept private. The adoption documents are sealed after the adoption is finalized and may remain sealed until the adoptee becomes a legal adult.
Closed adoption is becoming less common these days due to a preference for keeping open conversations about adoption with the adoptee. It’s believed to avoid feelings of abandonment, helping the adoptee understand why adoption was the best option.
But that shouldn’t hold you back if you believe closed adoption in New York is the best choice for you. It’s still an option for a reason. Some birth mothers value their privacy because it’s essential for the safety of the adoptee. Birth mothers who are victims of assault or abusive relationships may choose adoption specifically because of the violence that is unfortunately in their life. Closed adoption can help maintain the adoptee’s safety and privacy, keeping them out of reach of the abuser in any form.
This doesn’t mean all birth mothers who are victims of abuse choose closed adoption. Many birth mothers want a relationship with the adoptive family and can do so while keeping their child safe.
- Semi-Open AdoptionThis kind of adoption is your middle ground adoption. Birth mothers who choose this adoption option prefer agency-mediated conversation and privacy as opposed to complete openness. However, they still value a connection to the adoptive family, and they’d like to hear about the adoptee’s life.
In a semi-open adoption, our agency facilitates communication through a communication tool called ChildConnect. Through this program, you’ll be able to send and receive updates about your child, easily sharing letters, photos, drawings, and more. You and your child’s adoptive family will decide the frequency and type of communication throughout your adoption process. It’s all up to you and the adoptive family! And if you find that what you chose isn’t working, you and the adoptive family can change anything about your communication plan. Nothing is set in stone. It’s all about what works for you and your child’s adoptive family.
Semi-open adoptions can be opened up in the future if circumstances change and both parties agree to the shift. The mutability and the middle-ground nature of semi-open adoption make this adoption option appealing to birth mothers and adoptive parents. It’s great for people who want openness and contact but want the adoption agency to maintain boundaries for them.
- Open AdoptionOpen adoption is a type of adoption that allows for direct contact between the birth and adoptive families—personal information out in the open. You and the adoptive family have a chance to build a lasting relationship if you want it. It’s all up to your comfort level and how much you can commit to the relationship. It can be helpful for the adoptee if the adoptive parents and the birth mother build at least a working relationship. Because of this, people who choose open adoption often keep the birth mother-adoptive parent relationship a priority.
Both birth mothers and adoptive parents choose this adoption option in New York because of the benefit to the adoptee. It doesn’t feel as final or mysterious as closed adoption. When adoption is out in the open, it’s something that the adoptee can comprehend. He or she can see how much love exists for them. The adoptee is more likely to understand that the birth mother chose adoption out of an abundance of love.
Some birth mothers might not feel immediately ready for in-person visits with the adoptee. However, even open adoption allows the birth mother some time to cope with the adoption process before the first visit with the adoptive family. It’s an understanding process that allows time for the birth mother to cope if she isn’t ready to be so close yet.
Which of the Adoption Options Is The Right Choice For Me?
Your adoption options in New York give you space to choose what works for you. At Adoption Choices of New York, you’ll never feel pressured into a decision. We will always support you, no matter what. After speaking with our adoption agency in New York, we hope you feel informed about all your choices as a pregnant woman choosing adoption. We’ve got your back through it all.
Meet the Author: Tara Giuffre has always loved reading and writing and grew up in the worlds of Narnia, Harry Potter and A Series of Unfortunate Events. Taking this passion for stories, she received a degree from Rutgers University in Journalism & Media. Besides writing, she likes long walks on the beach, spending time with her family (and her cat, Sansa), and baking the perfect loaf of bread.
She enjoys sharing vital information about adoption and birth mothers choosing adoption to families making important choices for their future family!