If I Put My Baby Up For Adoption Will My Child Hate Me?
Making the decision to put your child up for adoption takes a lot of strength and motherly love. Adoption agencies all in NYC are ready to provide the information you need to start your adoption plan. At Adoption Choices of New York, we strive to give pregnant women the best care, the most up-to-date information, and any other resources you might need. Creating the right adoption plan for you and your baby is an incredibly important process, and we don’t want you to go through it alone.
Pregnant women choosing to pace their baby up for adoption go through a whirlwind of emotions throughout the entire New York adoption process. Some may worry if their child will hate them once they’re old enough to understand. It is a valid fear many birth mothers have even post-placement, but there are ways to remain in your child’s life in order to build a foundation of trust and love.
Placing Your Baby Up for Adoption in New York
As the birth mother, you will have complete control over all facets of your New York adoption plan. Adoption in NY caters to expectant women choosing to place their child for adoption. That means you will decide which agency to go through and what type of adoption you would like to have.
In New York, the adoptive families are able to help pay for medical expenses related to the pregnancy if that is what they want to do. Adoptive families can choose to help you pay for any expenses related to the pregnancy outside of medical necessities too. All of these expenses must be paid within sixty days prior to the birth of your child or thirty days after. Prospective adoptive families are not required to help with payments, but in New York, they have the legal option to help if you wish.
Types of Adoption
There are three different types of adoption you may choose from. Closed, open, and semi-open. Closed adoptions completely shut the door between yourself and the adoptive family after placement. There is no contact between yourself and the family post-placement. Every birth mother’s story is different. There is no right or wrong way to create an adoption plan as long as it is what you want. Closed adoption helps women heal and allows their child to have the life they planned for him or her. Closed adoption does not mean you love your child less than a birth mother that chooses open or semi-open adoption.
A semi-open adoption is a middle ground between fully closed and fully opened. There is communication in the form of letters and pictures between yourself and your child or their adoptive family. All communication is dealt with by a third party, usually the adoption agency, so there is privacy for both parties. Letters are a great way to communicate with your child about why you chose to place them for adoption when they’re old enough to grasp the concept. An early conversation about adoption that frames the choice in a positive light can show them they are still very much loved by you even though you’re not raising them.
Open adoption has a lot more flexibility in regard to communication. The way you choose to engage with your child can range from phone calls to in-person time together. Frequency and type are chosen by you when you make your adoption plan. Prospective adopted families that have agreed to your specific type of communication are then matched with you for interviews. Open lines of communication really make a difference to the adoptee. They are able to ask questions directly, and you’re able to have meaningful conversations with your child when the time comes. Adoption agencies in New York can explain your options in more detail if you’re interested in this type of plan.
Adoption Is A Choice Made of Motherly Love
Whatever your reasoning is, choosing to place your child shows that you love them enough to make a very hard decision. As your child grows older and is able to understand the complications that life comes with, they will begin to see that being placed does not mean they weren’t loved. If you’re planning on having an open or semi-open adoption preparing for the day, they ask why it might be a good idea. Whether it comes in the form of a letter or conversation, having what you want to say readily available can help the conversation along. At the end of the day, you made the decision to place your child for the right reasons.
Adoptees And Negative Feelings They Might Have About Being Place For Adoption
Are you concerned about the negative feelings your child may have towards you after placement? Contact us at Adoption Choices of New York. We can provide resources for individual or group counseling with other pregnant women that are wondering the same thing. Don’t go through this journey alone.
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