Giving Your Baby Up for Adoption in New York: What You Need to Know about Family Member Adoption vs. Private Adoption

Adoption is an excellent option for pregnant women in an unplanned pregnancy. Yet, it’s important to know that adoption isn’t a one-size-fits-all. There are many ways to go about it, giving you the ability to choose the option that works best for you and your baby. Two of these options are having a family member adopt your baby or choosing private adoption in New York

Because family member adoption and private adoption are two very different choices, it’s important to learn as much as you can about each of them. This will give you a better understanding of what each entails and help you decide what you want out of your adoption journey. Understandably, facing an unplanned pregnancy and researching your adoption options can feel overwhelming. But know you are not alone.

If you have questions or are interested in learning more about both of these choices, don’t hesitate to reach out — especially if you are an expectant mother looking at adoption agencies in New York State. Adoption Choices of New York is here to help. We help expectant mothers all across the state — from Albany to Rochester to Buffalo and beyond.

What is Family Member Adoption? 

Having a family member adopt your child, also known as kinship adoption, is just as it sounds. Whether this be through your immediate or extended family, you would choose who you want to place your baby with. There could be a variety of reasons that you choose to do this. It could be that you want to be close to your child and potentially have a say in how they are raised, or that you explicitly trust your sister, aunt or cousin and know that they would be able to provide a better life for him or her. . 

With kinship adoption, it’s important to learn what this would look like and how it may impact the current relationship you have with the family member who you want to raise your child. How will your child refer to you? How much involvement will you want to have? Are you doing this so that you can retain custody later? Would you have an issue if your child couldn’t know who you actually were? While this is a valid option, and one that you can consider, there can be pros and cons that come with that may surprise you.

What is Private Adoption? 

If you are familiar with the adoption world, you may have heard about private adoption. It is a more well-known term that most may associate when they are when discussing adoption. What exactly is a private adoption, though? Put simply, this is when a pregnant woman, like you, places her baby for adoption and has full control over the adoption process. Through creating an adoption plan, she is able to choose the type of adoption she wants and the adoptive family she wants to raise her child. She can also put together a hospital plan — also referred to as a birth plan — where she can lay out her expectations for her hospital experience. 

Adoption Choices of New York offers private adoption. In fact, we are a private adoption agency, licensed by the state of New York. We help pregnant women and birth mothers from all walks of life. From those who are considering adoption to those who are actively navigating the adoption journey and beyond. As a leader of the adoption community in New York, it is our goal to help you have the most positive and empowering adoption experience possible.

The Differences between Family Member Adoption vs. Private Adoption

The biggest difference between family member adoption vs. private adoption is whether or not you know the potential adoptive parents upfront. If you want to place your baby with a family member, you would, of course, already have an established relationship. If you choose private adoption, the adoptive parents would be strangers to you at first. However, depending on the type of adoption you choose, you can have the chance to meet the adoptive parents you choose and bond with them throughout the adoption process.

With private adoption, we’ve seen many positive, lifelong relationships grow between birth mothers and adoptive parents. While it can be awkward getting to know each other at first, there are so many benefits that come with helping a deserving couple or individual grow their family through adoption. You all get to start fresh and you can have peace of mind knowing that the adoptive parents will give your child all the love and support he or she deserves. There is also a form of separation between you, which can greatly help you during your grieving process. With a family member adoption, you may be grieving but still be in close proximity to your child. With private adoption, you would have the space you need to healthfully grieve, receive post-placement support and get to a place where you feel confident about your decision again.

Another key difference between kinship adoption and private adoption is that you, as the birth mother, would have access to all the adoption support you need. Whether this is financial assistance, temporary safe housing, transportation help or counseling services, our adoption agency would be there for you. This may not be available if you place your baby with a family member.

Is Private Adoption the Right Choice for You?

Now that you know more about family member adoption vs. private adoption, what do you think? Which do you feel would be the best decision for you and your baby? There is no right or wrong way to go about this. Only you know what the best choice is. 

If you want to learn more about private adoption, and how our adoption services could best support you, please don’t hesitate to reach out. We are here to help you in any way we can.

Adoption Choices of New York is available to assist with your adoption plan. Call us, text us, email us; we are here for you!
Contact Us 24/7: 800-505-8592 (Phone) | 518-478-8420 | Click to Email

Meet the Author: Latee Wilburn is an experienced blog/copywriter and social media marketer from the University of Georgia. She has written for many women’s lifestyle spaces, like Society19, BeautyDepot. She has also written for, a start-up working to inform young women in the ad/marketing industry, as well as tell the stories of the successful women before them. Her latest experience was writing and maintaining social media accounts for the true-crime community, MurderMurder News.

Her experience with writing expanded from childhood. It officially began after a creative writing course while she attended Perimeter College. The passion and love for writing quickly grew, and she began to hone her skills in social media marketing and copywriting. Fusing her two experiences to cultivate meaningful copy with an extra creative flair.

She’s currently finishing up her last year at UGA, majoring in Communications. She plans to attend graduate school to get a Master’s in Psychology and become a psychotherapist to help children and young adults with their mental well-being. Until then, she resides in her cozy reading nook in Georgia with her two dogs, Daisy & Peanut.


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