Fears Birth Mothers Have about Open Adoption
By Blessing E. Ikhimokpa
You’re putting a baby up for adoption but aren’t sure if open adoption is for you. You’re afraid the birth child won’t want to form a connection with you. So you’re having doubts about whether or not you’re gonna choose open adoption. At Adoption Choices of New York, you won’t have to feel like you’re alone in your decision. We’ll help reassure you that open adoption has nothing you should worry about. Here are some fears birth mothers have about open adoption.
Why are birth mothers afraid of open adoption?
Birth mothers are afraid of open adoption because they:
- Don’t want to be rejected when trying to form a bond with the birth child
- Don’t want to rely on the adoptive parent (s) when it’s time to talk to the birth child
- Fear that the adoptive parent(s) to thinks the birth mother is trying to replace them
- Don’t want to take on parental responsibilities
- Don’t want to end up changing their mind about adoption
What is open adoption?
During the New York adoption process, the birth mother is given three different types of adoption. They are open adoption, semi-open, and closed adoption. Throughout the adoption process, the birth mother decided they’re gonna choose open adoption.
Open adoption is when the birth mother decides they want to have a relationship with the birth child. However, they have placed them up for adoption. The birth mother wanted to have a relationship with the child without parental responsibilities.
What is involved in an open adoption?
In an open adoption, the birth mother can
- Choose the adoptive parent (s)
- Decide if the adoptive parent (s) will be there during the birth
- Send messages to the birth child
- Form a relationship with the adoptive parent (s)
If you live in Albany, New York, and would like to know more about open adoption. You can look up adoption agencies in Albany and find out more information.
Who will help me create an adoption plan?
When it comes to creating an adoption plan. Our counselors at our adoption agencies in NYC will be the ones who will help. They’ll help walk you through the different steps. While informing you on what they include. At our agency, the adoption plan steps are:
- Meeting with an adoption counselor
- Choosing an adoptive family of choice
- Picking one of the three types of adoption
- Creating a hospital birth plan
- Waiting the required time before signing the adoption documents
What are the different types of adoptions out there?
In New York, there are open adoption, semi-open, and closed adoption. Open adoption is for birth mothers who still want to be in the birth child’s life. They want to see the birth child grow without having to raise them herself.
Next is semi-open adoption. The birth mother has decided to let the adoption agency handle the communication in this option between the adoptive parent (s). This is because of open adoption. In an open adoption, communication between the adoptive parent (s) and the birth mother will be shared. So, in this case. The birth mother doesn’t want to share communication with the adoptive parent (s). This is why they chose semi-open adoption.
If you’d like to know more about the different types of adoption in New York. You can visit adoption agencies in NYC to learn more.
Finally, in a closed adoption. This is where the birth mother has decided to place the baby up for adoption. But doesn’t want to be involved in the adoption process. To them, this is an unplanned pregnancy they didn’t want. So they’ll treat it as such. They won’t,
- Be involved in choosing the adoptive parent (s)
- Want the adoptive parent (s) to have their contact information
- Want the adoptive parent (s) to be in the birth room
Will I feel guilty for placing my child up for adoption and choosing open adoption?
You might feel conflicted that you’re deciding to spend time with the birth child, after placing them up for adoption. They might feel guilty because you’re thinking you’re adopting out my baby. But are also deciding to spend time with them.
But you decided to place them up for adoption because you weren’t ready to become a parent. Having an open adoption was the better option for you. So you might feel guilty for a while. But after you get to know the adoptive parent (s). You’ll be affirmed in your decision.
Have doubts about open adoption? Adoption Choices of New York is available to assist with your adoption plan. Call us, text us, or email us; we are here for you!
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