Family After Adoption: Having a Baby After Placing One for Adoption
By Kaitlyn Chrisemer
If you once found yourself unexpectedly pregnant before you were ready to have kids, that is okay. Any decisions you made during your unplanned pregnancy journey are in the past. You shouldn’t let these choices from your past loom over your future. If, after considering your options, you settled on adoption, you may feel uncomfortable now if you want kids. That is okay and completely normal.
Adoption Choices of New York wants to help you understand that you can move on. Our NYC adoption agencies are here to ensure you are kind to yourself through your adoption journey. This includes the after-effects and emotions that come up after the adoption finalization. We want you to know that placing a baby for adoption doesn’t mean you can never have children later. Many birth mothers feel guilty when they feel they’re ready to start a family after adopting a baby. Although these feelings are normal and common, they’re not necessary. Here’s why.
Why You Chose Adoption
In times like these, it’s important to remember why you chose adoption in the first place. Likely, all women who experience an unplanned pregnancy consider adoption, but you choose it. You went through the whole pregnancy and all the emotions that come with the adoption process. Although many people think adoption is taking the easy way out, we know that isn’t the case. You put care into making an adoption plan, considering everything from which type of adoption to choosing the adoptive family.
Many people who never go through the adoption process don’t understand the effort that goes into adoption. Birth parents make emotionally difficult decisions for their child, placing the baby’s needs above their own. Yet, birth parents who choose adoption contain a special strength. They can realize and accept that their baby would have a better life with a different family. Regardless of the reasoning, they can put the child’s needs above their longing to care for their baby. Putting your baby up for adoption is a decision you made out of love.
Does Choosing Adoption Mean I Shouldn’t Be a Mother?
Deciding to place a baby for adoption when you know you aren’t ready to care for it properly takes strength. However, this experience can help you grow and understand motherhood and responsibility. A good mother ensures her child’s needs are met, sometimes placing their needs above their own.
By choosing adoption for your child in the past when you weren’t ready to be a mom, you’ve already started. You will likely be a great mother because of your adoption journey. It is the ultimate act of compassion, caring, and selflessness. You can be a mother if you’ve placed a child for adoption in the past. You’ll likely be a very good mother, even.
Having a Family After Adoption
It can be difficult to get past these feelings of guilt when you begin to consider starting a family. You may feel like you gave up on your child or don’t deserve to have kids anymore. However, we know that circumstances change here at Adoption Choices of New York. You could have been too young or financially insecure about raising a child at the time. You may have felt too emotionally and mentally overwhelmed to consider caring for another human. Whatever your reasoning, our NYC adoption agencies understand that things change.
Just because you weren’t ready then doesn’t mean you can’t be ready now or later in life. Many birth mothers want to have a family but just aren’t ready when they get pregnant. Don’t let guilt or fear hold you back from moving on. Remember that choosing adoption isn’t giving up. It’s allowing your baby to have a better life than you could’ve given. If you can properly raise a child now, don’t falter because you feel guilty over your past decisions. Allow yourself to accept your decision, make peace with it, and move forward with your life.
Unexpected Emotions Having Another Child Could Bring Up
Having another child after placing one for adoption can bring up a lot of emotions. Although guilt is high on the list, it is not alone. You may also feel general sadness at re-living the process of pregnancy and giving birth. It may bring your mind back to that time and cause emotions you felt in the past to resurface. Make sure to surround yourself with loved ones, and don’t be afraid to talk to someone about your feelings. Just like during your adoption journey, a strong support system is important.
If you need assistance with anything surrounding adoption, we can help. We have adoption agencies in Albany, NYC, Buffalo, and Rochester. We’re available at any time of day and can help with adoption matters anywhere in New York. Adoption Choices of New York is available to assist with your adoption plan. Call us, text us, or email us; we are here for you! Contact Us 24/7: 800-505-8592 (Phone) | 518-478-8420 | Click to Email
