Choosing an Open Adoption with Lesbian Adoptive Parents
When you decide to choose open adoption, you may wonder about your child’s adoptive family. You may imagine what your relationship with the parents will be like, as you take phone calls and open letters about your child’s wellbeing. You’re potentially planning in-person visits, depending on the level of openness, and wondering how you all will get along.
As a birth mother considering open adoption with lesbian adoptive parents, you may wonder what your child’s life will be like with their adoptive family and how that may differ from another type of adoptive family. Open adoption can be a beautiful thing for all parties. At Adoption Choices of New York, we can help you decide on the type of adoption you prefer, as well as provide you certified adoptive family profiles. We’ll be with you every step of the way on your adoption journey.
Why is Open Adoption Important?
Right now, many birth mothers like you are choosing open adoption. They see the benefits of their children knowing their mother loves them and wants to know how he or she is doing. They are comfortable hearing about their child and possibly having a relationship with their child in the future.
Some birth mothers and adoptive parents have found that they like the idea of an extended type of family, with even more people to let your child know he or she is loved. Lesbian adoptive parents will even ask a close friend or family to act as a supportive father figure for the adoptee if there’s something they feel they can’t tackle as mothers.
The most important thing is your comfort and what you believe will be most beneficial to your child. An adoption agency will not pressure you or potential adoptive families to choose a type of adoption that does not work for them.
How might open adoption with lesbian adoptive parents differ?
For one, your child will have three moms. I think most of us can agree that that’s a pretty great thing! In an open adoption especially, this can mean that your child’s family and support system is even greater, with many great women to look up to. If the birth father is in the picture, he may, one day, be an excellent father figure to your child.
Your child will know that he or she has three parents who love them. If you and the adoptive parents choose to meet, you will see firsthand how two mothers can be just as good at raising a child as opposite-sex or any other type of adoptive parents can.
How would lesbian parents benefit my child in an open adoption?
Research has shown that the one thing a child wants in early life is simply love and affection. Not one mom and one dad, just love and affection. Who better to love your child than two women who truly want to adopt and raise your child?
Women are known to be more empathetic than men, and this empathy can be a great benefit to your child as he or she grows up. For example, as a parent, you might worry about how the adoptive family would treat your child if he or she were gay. Well, with lesbian parents, you should feel comfortable that the adoptive family would accept your child with open arms.
Your child will also grow up knowing that your gender does not lock you into one role. Moms can do “dad” things and dads can do “mom” things. Gender stereotypes should not limit people from doing all they can. Your child will have the benefit of learning this from a young age, where many people struggle to learn this through adolescence.
Children raised by parents of the same gender typically do better in school, as well. In an open adoption, you can hear about your child’s wellbeing, including school performance, firsthand from the adoptive family. You can always rest assured knowing you’ll have another update on your child’s life.
At Adoption Choices, You’re Not Alone
Remember, the most important thing is that you choose the right type of adoption for you and your child. Open adoption can be so beneficial to your child, and three loving mothers are definitely never too many. At Adoption Choices of New York, we will never pressure you to make a decision you’re not comfortable with. We’re committed to helping you make choices that are good for you and your child.
Meet the Author: Tara Giuffre has always loved reading and writing and grew up in the worlds of Narnia, Harry Potter and A Series of Unfortunate Events. Taking this passion for stories, she received a degree from Rutgers University in Journalism & Media. Besides writing, she likes long walks on the beach, spending time with her family (and her cat, Sansa), and baking the perfect loaf of bread.
She enjoys sharing vital information about adoption and birth mothers choosing adoption to families making important choices for their future family!