Can You Change Your Mind about Adoption as a Birth Mother?
Choosing adoption in NY can be a long road. There’s so many what-ifs and so many questions to go through — some that may not have a clear answer. So, when you finally decide adoption is the best choice for you and your child, you may still harbor doubts. With any difficult decision, it can be comforting to have a backup plan. To know that if you want to change your mind, you can. At any time during your pregnancy, no matter how much of your adoption plan you’ve planned out and experienced, you may change your mind about adoption.
At Adoption Choices of New York, we support your choices — whether you decide you’re ready to parent your child, or if you want to choose adoption.
Is it Ever Too Late to Change My Mind about Adoption?
No, it’s not too late to change your mind about adoption. Until you’ve signed the relinquishment papers, it’s within your right as the birth mother to choose to parent your child. However, the longer you put off making a final choice, the more difficult your decision will become. Your adoptive family will likely have already supported your pregnancy, and feelings of guilt may arise if you are thinking of parenting your child. In this case, it’s important to speak with your adoption caseworker, and even our adoption counselors, if you are having conflicting feelings about your decision to place your baby for adoption. Our adoption specialists will never judge you for your choice. We are here to inform, support, and guide you.
What Happens if I do Change My Mind about Adoption?
If you do change your mind about adoption and definitely want to parent your child, your adoption journey becomes disrupted. The commitment of the adoptive parents ends, and you won’t continue with the adoption process. Depending on the length of the adoption journey, it’s possible that the adoptive family might choose to sue for any assistance they have provided.
There are many reasons birth mothers might change their minds about adoption: circumstances might change; readiness might change. Ultimately, you are in your right to decide what’s best for your child. However, adoption isn’t an easy choice to begin with. Remember to surround yourself with supportive people and use your resources — your adoption caseworker and our adoption counselors are here to speak with you and guide you through important decisions.
What if I Want to Change My Mind, but I’ve already had My Baby?
If you’ve already had your baby and signed the relinquishment papers, it’s likely going to be very difficult to take that back, especially without a battle in court. This is why it’s so important to be sure of your decision beforehand and to raise your thoughts and feelings with your adoption caseworker, counselor or one of our in-house legal representatives.
At Adoption Choices of New York, we do our best to prepare you for adoption and all the ups and downs, so you don’t feel like you did something you regret at the time of the birth.
Can You Change Your Mind about Adoption?
Adoption is an incredibly tough and emotional experience, so we understand if a birth mother wants to change her mind. However, disrupted adoptions are rare. Once a birth mother chooses adoption, she usually feels committed to her choice. That’s because we allow birth mothers the time and resources to process their choice. These birth mothers have evaluated what’s important to them and what’s going to be best for their child.
At Adoption Choices of New York, we’ll never leave a birth mother to her own devices — she’ll always have resources available to help her make the best choice.
Meet the Author: Tara Giuffre has always loved reading and writing and grew up in the worlds of Narnia, Harry Potter and A Series of Unfortunate Events. Taking this passion for stories, she received a degree from Rutgers University in Journalism & Media. Besides writing, she likes long walks on the beach, spending time with her family (and her cat, Sansa), and baking the perfect loaf of bread.
She enjoys sharing vital information about adoption and birth mothers choosing adoption to families making important choices for their future family!