Can I Give My Baby Up For Adoption If I Already Have Kids?
Having a child can be difficult, even more so when you have to examine other options because you are unable to raise your child. This can be a hundred times harder when you are already raising one or more children. Raising a child takes a lot of resources, attention, and money. It is a rewarding experience, but not an easy one. Oftentimes, unplanned pregnancies can be even more complicated for parents who are already raising one or more children. Adoption Choices of New York understands this can be a complicated, stressful situation and is ready to help in any way we can.
Are my other kids at risk of being taken away if I give the baby I am expecting up for adoption?
No, putting a baby up for adoption, while difficult, will not put your other children at risk of being taken away. So long as you provide a stable home for your children and no harm comes to them, there is no reason for a social worker to visit your home to investigate. Social workers view cases individually and must have just cause and evidence for concern. If you are placing your most recent child up for adoption because you cannot take care of them along with your other children, your older children cannot be taken away as a result of you doing what is best for your family, all of your children, and yourself.
Will my New York adoption agency help me with any costs?
One of the great services adoption agencies in NYC offer is aid with any medical costs, rent, utility bills, transportation, and housing through your assigned caseworker. If your pregnancy is impinging on your ability to work, your caseworker can arrange for compensation with grants and other funds through your adoption agency Albany.
How to explain putting my baby up for adoption to my children?
A great way to explain what is happening and help your children through this situation is to talk through what is happening with your children. If your children understand why their sibling cannot be raised with them, or why they belong with another family, it could also help to dispel any fears your other children may have about if they will be placed for adoption as well.
You could also opt for an open adoption to maintain contact for yourself and your children. This could help your other children to know that this baby was not just given away without a thought. This is a way to show you still love this child and care for them, even from afar, and to show that they are happy and healthy. A great way to help them understand could be with children’s books and movies.
What will others think of me if I give my baby up for adoption?
Your loved ones may not understand at first, but in the end, they must see how you are struggling and how another child would only increase your stress and anxiety. Unless they are willing to help you financially, emotionally, and physically, they will come to see how you feel. Your loved ones will understand you do not have much of a choice in this matter.
As for the opinion of strangers, their opinion means nothing. They will probably never know your past, present, or future circumstances since you will probably never see them again.
Even if they did know what was going on in your life, they may have once gone through the same thing and could possibly understand exactly how you feel. Millions of women use adoption as an option for their unplanned pregnancies and a large chunk of that population are married with children. Sometimes life happens, birth control fails, and circumstances may not allow us to have all we want. Just because you want to love and raise your baby yourself, does not mean you are able to do it. Many women face these same dilemmas and difficulties and go through with this sacrifice for the good of themselves and their children.
For any mother, choosing the option of adoption can be anxiety-provoking, but for a mother who already cares for one or more children and must then choose not to raise her next child herself, the situation can be almost unbearable. It takes a very strong character to put all their children’s well beings before their own, even if it may palpably hurt. We understand how difficult this type of situation can be and Adoption Choices of New York is ready to be by your side through the financial, emotional, and physical toils.
Meet the author: Carly is a recent graduate of Connecticut College with a dual degree in Psychology and Italian Studies. Graduating Cum Laude with honors in both Psychology and Italian departments, Carly has a background in gender-related research through the Connecticut College Psychology Department and Honors Theses Program. When not trying to figure out life or working, Carly is reading historical fiction novels or playing with her black cat, Isabelle.