Birth Mothers and the New York Adoption Triad
Birth mothers and the New York adoption triad sounds like some kind of superhero squad. And it’s not far off. What it’s referring to is the role of the birth mother in her adoption triad in New York. The adoption triad is all about the relationships the birth parents, adoptive parents, and the adoptee will share.
In an open adoption, you will have the opportunity to build relationships with your child’s adoptive family and with your child, the adoptee. Birth mothers and adoptive parents who choose open adoptions do so because of the vast benefit to the adoptee. This puts the adoptee at the top of the triangle — it’s the person you’re on your journey to support. Your connection to the adoptive parents builds a sturdy foundation that supports the adoptee.
At Adoption Choices of New York, we’ll help you foster these relationships as the birth mother to an adoptee.
What is the adoption triad?
The adoption triad consists of the birth parents, the adoptive parents, and the adoptee. It’s best represented in the shape of a triangle, with the adoptee at the top as the most important person involved in the adoption experience. It’s the reason the adoptive family and the birth mother are here in the first place and the reason they may come to get to know one another.
If you choose an open adoption, you’re opening yourself up to direct contact with the adoptive family as well as visits with your child. You and the adoptive family will decide how much contact you’d like to have when your first visit will be and how you’ll communicate. This includes what your life looks like post-adoption.
While the adoptive family maintains their parental role, you might be a loving force in your child’s life. You can be a reminder of how much love there is in the world for the adoptee. By supporting and communicating with one another, you and your child’s adoptive family can set your child up for a healthy mindset about adoption.
The Adoptive Parents
The adoptive parents are only one part of the adoption triad, but they are certainly an important part! Without adoptive parents, birth parents would not be able to place their children into loving homes. The adoptive parents choose to raise a child, knowing full well that they will love the adoptee as their own. They’ll take parental and legal custody of the adoptee and even build a relationship with the birth mother. They see how life-altering it could be.
The adoptee or the child is the most important part of the adoption triad. In the triangle, they’d have the topmost position. Both the adoptive parents and the birth parents begin their adoption journey with the adoptee’s best interests in mind, and they might both nurture relationships with the adoptee.
The Birth Mother
Like the other roles, birth mothers and the New York adoption triad are important, but we travel through the adoption journey without any one of them. The birth mother is somebody who makes the selfless, loving choice to place her baby for adoption. She may not parent her child, but that doesn’t mean she will never have a relationship with the adoptee.
Why is the adoption triad important?
Birth mothers and the New York adoption triad share a relationship that remains important to everybody involved in the triad. With the adoptee at the top of the triangle, both the birth mother and the adoptive parents will do what is best for the adoptee, keeping his or her best interests in mind every step of the way.
In an open adoption, the birth mother and adoptive parents may have a very open relationship, sharing details of their lives freely. This doesn’t change the parental roles of the adoptee at all — it emphasizes to the adoptee that they are loved by both his or her birth parents and adoptive parents. And a little bit of love goes a long way.
What role will you have as the birth mother in your adoption triad?
As a birth mother, it’s up to you to decide the openness of your adoption. You’ll always be the birth mother to your child, the first parent, and the first person to look after him or her. But within your adoption triad, you and the adoptive parents might each do your part to put the adoptee’s needs first. At Adoption Choices of New York, we’ll help you make the best choices for your adoption journey.
Meet the Author: Tara Giuffre has always loved reading and writing and grew up in the worlds of Narnia, Harry Potter and A Series of Unfortunate Events. Taking this passion for stories, she received a degree from Rutgers University in Journalism & Media. Besides writing, she likes long walks on the beach, spending time with her family (and her cat, Sansa), and baking the perfect loaf of bread.
She enjoys sharing vital information about adoption and birth mothers choosing adoption to families making important choices for their future family!