Carrying a child is no small feat. Giving birth to a new life is something extraordinary. When a prospective birth mother chooses you to take care of the child for the rest of its life, it is a priceless gift. Often times, adoptive parents will still choose to repay the birth mother in some sort of way after the mother has given birth.
In many cases, giving gifts to birth parents require consultations with the adoption agency, as it can be a delicate subject. Talking to the agency will also sort out any legal issues. Adoption Choices of New York will work with you on what is the appropriate gift for the person who is giving you a bundle of joy.
Gifts can vary in size and value. What is important to consider is because of the unique relationship between birth parents and adoptive parents, the gifts should manifest that in some meaningful way. The gift should also be accommodating to the emotional state of the birth mother.
What to Give
The list below provides 10 amazing birth mother gift ideas for when you’re meeting your child’s birth mother at the hospital, the finalization of the adoption or any other important event before the adoption.
- Jewelry – A piece of jewelry is a great gift for birth mothers so that she will have something to remember the experience. Whether it is the child she placed for adoption or the new family she had befriended for life. Necklaces and bracelets are always popular choices because they can easily be customized. For instance, you can choose to engrave it with the baby’s initials or a quote the family shares. The customization, while one-of-a-kind, should be easy for the mother to talk about without feeling uncomfortable.
- Post birth recovery basket – While giving birth is no small accomplishment, the recovery stage following the delivery is crucial. It can be further difficult for birth mother because of the emotions she might feel with the whole adoption. Having a basket can be healing in and of itself. The basket does not need to have anything fancy or expensive. You can put things like lotions, stool softener, hot/cold packs for swelling, chapstick, etc. These will make recovery go more pleasantly.
- Flowers – After a hard journey, it is always nice to see flowers. Aside from the beautiful sight they provide, flowers are a great way to welcome the baby into the world as well as comforting the feeling of loss the mother might be experiencing. There are meanings behind different flowers, so make sure the flowers you get have the correct message you want to relay.
- Fruit basket – The birth mother will need to get her nutrients back and fresh fruits are a fantastic way to get natural vitamins. Fruits also contribute fiber, which will help with constipation – preventing them in most cases.
- Stuffed animals – Not only are stuffed animals designed for babies, but they are also a perfect fit for mother after birth. Soft bunnies or teddy bears serve as comfort for the mother when she feels lonely or grief. You should try and get a stuffed animal that closely resembles something of the baby or a matching one that the baby will have to grow up with.
- Photo album – This organizes the photos collected during the pregnancy and while at the hospital. It can include both birth parents and adoptive parents as a commemoration of the beautiful journey. Most definitely, it should have pictures of the baby. Leave empty spots for photos or even letters you will send them of the baby in the adventures ahead. It would also be a fun activity to decorate the album cover together to create more connections unless you want to keep it a secret from the birth mother.
- Recovery gift basket – The recovery basket is different than the post birth basket. The latter are of things to help with the physical restoration of the body while the former is something they can take home. Items in the gift basket should be things they can use in the long run for both physical and mental healing. Things to include can be spa-related. Lotions and bath bombs always make great birth mother gift ideas. Fuzzy socks, pajamas, chamomile tea and magazines also excellent when promoting comfort and leisure.
- Gift cards – Monetary gifts can be tricky so be sure to talk to your adoption agencies before proceeding with the gift. However, they are so essential to birth mothers to get things that she will need and might feel embarrassed if adoptive parents get them for her. What’s critical to think about is to make sure it does not feel like a transaction where you are paying her for the baby. Rather, it is to pay respect for the pain she has endured. Gift cards for meal delivery services like Postmates or DoorDash are hidden gems.
- Handcrafted keepsake box – It is plausible that you will be sending gifts to birth parents every now and then, either on holidays and birthdays, or something of the child like a drawing. Having a box that you made will make the birth parents feel more welcomed into your family and make them feel appreciated. It will consolidate your promise to have open communication and relationship.
- Time – After giving birth and completing all the paperwork, the birth mother might feel lonely, no matter her family circumstances. Time is an invaluable and irreplaceable gift. She will need the adoptive parents around to talk to and to rely on. It will be a vulnerable time for her and she needs to know that she can trust you before handing over the baby. You will also benefit from learning more about the birth parent which can help the two families connect.
Bonus Gift Idea: Handwrite a Note
To accompany your gift, consider purchasing a blank holiday card or stationary and writing your child’s birth mother a note. Expressing your sincere gratitude by hand speaks volumes of your respect for her, and is a great way to relay how much you honor his sacrifice and loving decision in choosing you to raise their child.
At Adoption Choices of New York, we encourage all of our adoptive parents to pen a handwritten note to the birth parents. It truly means the world to them, and conveys your genuine effort to keep their legacies alive.
Birth Mother Gift Ideas
Every adoption process is different and so is every birth parent. Thus, their needs and healing will differ. If you have questions regarding appropriate items to give, don’t hesitate to contact your adoption agency. They will be your best resources for what is suitable for birth mother gift ideas. All in all, gifts should hold meanings and something precious for both families.
Adoption Choices of New York
For more information on adoption or if you are currently in the process of adopting a baby and have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact, Adoption Choices of New York.
Support Adoption Choices
Adoption Choices, Inc. is partnering with Crowdrise, a fundraising website for nonprofits, to help our adoptive parents and birth parents with much needed financial assistance. We understand that expenses keep clients from fulfilling their dreams. Both with birth parents making a plan for adoption, and with adoptive parents growing their family. It is our mission to provide financial assistance through grants and scholarships, awarded annually in November, in honor of National Adoption Month. Funds assist adoptive parents with matching and placements, adoption finalization and helping birth mothers improve their lives through higher education — and much more.
However, we can’t do it alone. Please read up on our programs and donate money where you are able. Your donation will make a huge impact.
About the Author
Lisa Truong is an undergraduate journalism major at the University of Denver. She is minoring in writing and Chemistry. She has been commended by professors for her news stories as well as creative writing.
During her freshman year, her essay “See Ya on the Other Side” was displayed at a writing exhibition sponsored by the University of Denver. That essay later went on to be published in Many Voices One DU, a book also sponsored by the university.
Lisa frequently volunteers to be a leader at the Daniels School of Business for their quarterly Ethics Boot Camp where students learn about the importance of character in business. In her free time, Lisa enjoys watching animated movies with her mother, listening to music, going for bike rides, and eating breakfast food.
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