Birth Father FAQ with Adoption Agencies in New York
We often talk about the role of the birth mother in the adoption process. As the person carrying a child, she is a requirement of adoption and therefore is the main focus of the adoption journey. However, this can leave birth fathers confused about their role in the adoption process. Birth fathers do matter. There is so much potential in this role, especially since birth fathers are not always present in the birth mother’s life.
As a birth mother, with all the focus on yourself, you might not know where you should include the birth father in your decisions. Your baby’s adoption is your choice, but you might find yourself confused about where the birth father can help. At Adoption Choices of New York, we would be happy to guide you and your child’s birth father through the adoption process so that there is no confusion at all about adoption in New York.
- What if the birth father doesn’t agree with adoption?
If the birth father doesn’t agree with adoption, but you plan on moving forward with the adoption process in New York, he has two choices. He can go to court and fight for his right to be a father, where he would have to prove his ability to parent, or ultimately consent to the adoption. Many birth fathers do not agree at first because they’re struggling with the emotions of an unplanned pregnancy. However, others will come around to the idea as they realize how adoption can open new doors for the adoptee.
- How can birth fathers be supportive?
A birth father can be supportive in many ways. You might feel comforted by the birth father involving himself in the steps of the New York adoption process. He might attend meetings with adoption specialists and even help you choose an adoptive family. You and the birth father might make choices together, weighing the pros and cons as a unit. Do you prefer an open or semi-open adoption? How often would you like to meet the adoptive family? What kind of adoptive family do you see your child with? These are tough decisions. Two heads are often better than one, so a supportive birth father can help by taking away the pressure of these choices.
- Are there support groups for birth fathers?
One of the best ways for a birth father to support the birth mother is to take care of himself first. If he doesn’t help himself, how can he support the birth mother? By working out his emotions and stress about adoption with a support group, he can be a more present birth father. A support group can help people feel understood, comforted with their choice in adoption. He can meet other birth fathers who know exactly what he is going through. Adoption Choices of New York is happy to connect birth fathers with amazing support groups and counselors as part of the New York adoption process.
- What if I don’t know the identity of my child’s birth father?
If you do not know the identity of your child’s birth father, our adoption agency in New York will do its best to locate him to get his consent. However, if we still cannot locate the birth father, the adoption will proceed as normal as if we had his consent.
- Will the birth father have to pay for child support after adoption?
No, the birth father will not have to pay for child support. Just like you give away your parental rights, so does he. Therefore, there is no responsibility to support your child in any way.
- What if the birth father and I can’t afford adoption?
Adoption is a completely free process! You and the birth father do not have to worry about expenses during the adoption process. Your child’s adoptive family can cover much of your expenses during the adoption process, including rent, travel costs, doctor’s visits, and more. Our goal as an agency is to provide a stress-free adoption process.
- What does the adoption process look like for the birth father?
The adoption process as a birth father is similar to one of a birth mother, aside from the fact that he is not carrying his child. However, the birth father does not explicitly need to be involved in most of the steps of the adoption process, such as choosing the adoptive family or being present for the birth. The only thing he has to do is sign away his parental rights.
However, the birth father absolutely can attend any step of the adoption process, as long as the birth mother wishes for him to do so. He can locate and contact a New York adoption agency with her, choose adoptive parents, build a relationship with them, and be present for the birth of his child. All of this would comfort the birth mother, helping her feel confident and strong throughout the adoption process.
A Birth Father’s Role is His Choice
Ultimately, a birth father’s role in the adoption process is up to him. A birth father can fight for his right to parent, or he can be a supportive role. Some men feel ready to be a father figure for the adoptee in an open adoption. They want to help the birth mother make difficult choices in the adoption process, because they know they can make a difference. He can choose not to be involved and is not obligated to do so. Birth fathers can receive all the support and care that a birth mother would have through Adoption Choices of New York. At our agency, we are here to support our birth fathers just as we would our birth mothers. Birth fathers have an important, supportive role in taking on the adoption journey, and we’re here to help them take the first step.
Meet the Author: Tara Giuffre has always loved reading and writing and grew up in the worlds of Narnia, Harry Potter and A Series of Unfortunate Events. Taking this passion for stories, she received a degree from Rutgers University in Journalism & Media. Besides writing, she likes long walks on the beach, spending time with her family (and her cat, Sansa), and baking the perfect loaf of bread.
She enjoys sharing vital information about adoption and birth mothers choosing adoption to families making important choices for their future family!