Adoption is not Giving Up: Redefining Your Adoption Story as a Birth Mother in NY
Adoption can be many different things, like empowering, loving, and thoughtful. On the other hand, there are a lot of things adoption isn’t, and “giving up” is at the top of the list. The idea that birth mothers are giving up when they choose adoption is an unfortunate stigma that exists in our culture.
Think about the commonly used phrase, She’s giving up her baby for adoption. Many of us have used this terminology in the past without thinking about the harmful implications for birth mothers. This is why several adoption spaces are changing their terminology. One example of this is we now say, placing your baby for adoption instead of giving up your baby for adoption. Along with a change in adoption language, there is a change in perception.
At Adoption Choices of New York, we know that adoption is not giving up. We’re here to support you throughout your adoption journey and empower you to make the best decisions for your future. We have resources available to help you navigate the adoption process, and trained adoption specialists who can help answer any questions you have.
4 Truths about Adoption to Remember When You Feel like You’re Giving Up
Negative emotions are a part of many tough decisions in life. Especially a decision that is as big as adoption. So, if you’re feeling guilty about your adoption journey, use this list to remind yourself of the reasons choosing adoption is a positive decision.
- Choosing Adoption Requires Strength and Courage
There are a lot of false beliefs surrounding adoption, but one of the craziest is that adoption is easy. If you’ve started the adoption process, you know that this isn’t the case. Adoption means facing possible backlash from your loved ones. It means making tough decisions. It means choosing a path a lot of people haven’t taken because you know it is the best one for you. None of these things are easy. They require immense bravery and shouldn’t be taken lightly.
- Choosing Adoption is an Empowered Decision
Another reason it’s important to remember that adoption is not giving up is because this idea puts birth mothers in the back seat. Giving up has a connotation of failure, and it makes placing your baby for adoption sound like a negative choice. However, adoption is an informed, empowering decision that is available to pregnant women who need it. Adoption shouldn’t be framed as the unavoidable consequence of bad decision making. It is a deliberate decision that is beneficial for everyone involved.
- Choosing Adoption Means You’re Thinking Ahead
Every adoption journey is unique, and no woman’s reason behind choosing adoption is the same. Whether you’re considering adoption because of financial reasons, a lack of external support, or just because you can’t envision yourself as a parent — your decision shows that you are carefully considering the future.
You shouldn’t feel like placing your baby for adoption means that you’re irresponsible. In fact, it’s the opposite. Deciding that you can’t take care of a baby at this point in your life is much better than forcing yourself to be a parent when you’re not ready.
- Choosing Adoption is a Loving Option
No matter where you are in your adoption journey, it’s important to remember that adoption is a fantastic choice that benefits both you and your child. If you’re feeling any guilt about placing your baby for adoption, remember that there are waiting families who are ready to take on the responsibility of raising a child. Your baby will be loved and cared for, and there’s no reason to believe your decision will be harmful.
Adoption is not Giving Up
Although it’s completely natural to face difficult emotions throughout your adoption journey, try not to tear yourself down. You know what’s best for you and your child, and if that means choosing adoption — you shouldn’t let negative stigma stop you from making that choice.
You shouldn’t ever feel like your adoption means you’re giving up. Adoption is a great choice for many pregnant women, and it could be the right choice for you. No matter what your adoption journey looks like, Adoption Choices of New York is here to support you.
About the Author: Alexandra Georgiton is a fourth-year student at the University of Cincinnati studying Rhetoric and Professional Writing, and is receiving certification in Copyediting and Publishing. She has been passionate about the English language for her entire life, and reading and writing have always been her favorite hobbies. She enjoys professional writing and editing because she loves to use her talent and love of writing to make a difference in the world.