Adoption After a Sexual Assault
By Anna Keller
Are you feeling distraught or discouraged after sexual assault, wondering if you should even keep your baby? Are you unsure of what lies ahead, confused and worried? Does putting your baby up for adoption scare you? These are all normal reactions to a traumatic event. As a result, you may not know exactly what your next step looks like. You may be unsure of how to proceed. After all, your hesitation makes sense. In the eyes of the birth mother, why would you want to carry that violence to term? However, we urge you not to look at it that way. It can lead to a harmful avenue of self-deprecating thoughts. For instance, you may get swept away in the untrue narrative that your baby’s life is less legitimate. Or even worse, you may assume you must involve the birth father. To address the latter point, you do not. You are free to proceed with the adoption process without him. Furthermore, the ‘legitimacy’ of your baby’s life does not hinge upon the birth father’s actions.
Pros and Cons of Choosing Adoption
You might be wondering now, how can adopting out my baby help me feel better? The truth is that there is no certain way to answer that question. Every woman reacts to the process a little differently. But what you can be sure of is that you control that entire process. Adoption agencies in NYC, like Adoption Choices of New York, are geared to help you process your trauma. Additionally, we are here to support every process of placing your baby for adoption. Adoption agencies in Albany, or whichever city you live in, are ready to help.
You may also be wondering, what exactly does the New York adoption process look like? Adoption in NY is fairly straightforward; first, you meet with an agency. If you are considering adoption, then your first step is to contact someone either by email or phone. This may especially be difficult if you have experienced sexual assault. However, you do not have to disclose that aspect of your situation immediately. You are not required to have been sexually assaulted in order to receive assistance with adoption. Therefore, you can lead with as much or as little detail as you like. Once you are ready to reveal more information so that you may proceed with emotional support, you can do that.
Birth Father’s Involvement and Your Choice of Adoption After a Sexual Assault
Adoption agencies in NYC do not discriminate against women who have been assaulted. Local adoption agencies, instead, want to do all they can to help you. If you simply want to list the birth father as ‘unknown,’ you are able to do so. Regardless of your relationship with the birth father, they are there to support you. One-on-one counseling is available, as are group sessions if you want to connect with other birth mothers. Facing an unplanned pregnancy, especially at the hands of someone who hurt you, is scary. But you are not alone. You have a myriad of resources that will act as a support network. Furthermore, you are in charge of every step of your New York adoption plan. From learning about types of adoption to selecting which family you want, the entire process is facilitated by you.
Now you may be thinking: deciding to adopt your baby and going through it are two different things. But you should feel honored in your decision. You are making the braver, arguably more difficult choice. You are allowing yourself to bring life to a child, and that is never something to be ashamed of. Whether you feel ashamed of your assault or just plain traumatized, we urge you not to let it interfere with your decision.
Why Adoption Matters
If you are looking at ‘adoption agencies near me’ and stumble upon one that suits your fancy, then give them a call. One single phone call is not a binding decision. You may still decide to pursue a different option if you change your mind. And that is okay. But we encourage you to at least think about it. Connect with birth mothers who have already undergone the experience. The adoption agency has counselors who have gone through this specific process. They are enthusiastic about telling you about all the things you can use to your advantage during this difficult time.
That being said, it doesn’t have to be all difficult. Adoption is a beautiful thing, and resultantly, you will find joy in things you didn’t expect. You may feel sad parting with your baby, but understand that you are taking important steps to provide it with a different life. That is something to be proud of, not ashamed about. You are strong for doing something like that, not weak. And while some may stigmatize your actions, they will be admired by many.
If you are in immediate danger, call 9-1-1.