Addressing 7 Common Birth Mother Adoption Fears in New York
It’s an understatement to say that adoption is a tough choice. Carrying a child for nine months, all while making plans for him or her to live with the new family? Sounds easy, right? Not so much. So if you’re feeling scared, and your list of fears grows every day, we get it. The adoption process in New York isn’t easy! But you’re making an unbelievably brave choice. One that your child will come to understand and admire you for. At Adoption Choices of New York, we know that your adoption journey will come with its ups and downs. But we’re here to help you through it! We’ll counter your fears with comforting truths.
1. Your Child Won’t Want to Get To Know You
It’s easy to walk down the path of fear when you’re making such a brave decision. It’s easy to imagine that your child will hate you for your choice. That they’ll feel abandoned, and then they’ll want nothing to do with you. But the truth is, that’s rare. These days, adoption isn’t taboo. Adoptive parents will talk with the adoptee about adoption so that they know their origin. Most adoptees are curious about their birth parents and understand why adoption was the right choice. Many adoptees from closed adoptions will reach out to their birth parents, if possible. And in an open adoption, they may have the opportunity to get to know you from day one.
2. The Adoptive Parents Will Leave You Out
Many birth mothers fear that the adoptive parents will want nothing to do with the birth mother; over time, they will leave you behind. But that’s not true. Not only are open adoptions in New York protected, but adoptive parents chose open adoption too. They understand that the benefit of open adoption is the opportunity to include you in the adoptee’s life. When you arrange your open adoption, you will make decisions with your child’s adoptive family as a group of people with the adoptee’s best interests in mind.
Everyone benefits from open adoption, and they have no reason to leave you behind. Even though you’re not parenting your child, you have a lot to bring to the table as the birth mother. Know that you have value as a birth mother.
3. You’ll Choose the Wrong Kind of Adoption
Our adoption experts and counselors will work with you every step of the way to make sure you feel confident in your choice of adoption. Everything about adoption may seem confusing now, but with time, you’ll be an expert. At our New York adoption agency, we will never rush you to make a choice. Everything is up to you. But that doesn’t mean you’re alone. You will always have our support, and we’ll help you make an informed decision. And there’s no wrong type of adoption. There’s something right for every type of birth mother.
If you’re indecisive, you might choose semi-open adoption. In a semi-open adoption in New York, you have privacy, but the adoptive family can send updates about the adoptee. You and your child’s adoptive family may also decide to open up the adoption in the future, but it must be a mutual decision.
4. You’ll Choose the Wrong Adoptive Parents
Our specialists will talk with you about what kind of family you want for your child. You chose adoption because you envisioned a better life for your child. In this way, you are already on the right path. Even if it’s subconscious for the time being, you have preferences for your child. Preferences that our New York adoption agency’s specialists will help you narrow down so that you’ll find the right match for your child. No family is perfect, but your hopes for your child will lead you to a family that will give them the life they deserve.
5. You Won’t Be Able to Afford Adoption
Have no fear: we can guarantee that you’ll be able to afford adoption because it’s free! Not only that but in New York adoptions, a private adoption agency and your chosen adoptive family will support your needs and expenses. Worried about paying for doctor’s visits? We got you. Transportation costs? We’ve got that, too. We can cover groceries, medical expenses, rent, and more. There’s never a cost for any service that we provide to you. You are making a sacrifice, so we want to support you as much as we can. This time is guaranteed to be stressful, so our goal is to relieve as much of that as possible.
6. People Will Judge You
You are brave and selfless. You’re putting your child first. That takes wisdom, courage, and an incredible amount of strength. Some people will support your choice right away. Others will come to understand it, and if they don’t, you can comfort yourself knowing that you’re doing what’s right for your child. You can’t please everyone in life, but you know the difference you’re making for your child and their adoptive family. Even your loved ones may worry for you, but once they see how confident you are in your decision, they will come to see the benefits of adoption.
7. You Won’t Be Able to Handle Adoption
We understand how scary the New York adoption process can feel. Because of this, we came prepared. The staff at our agency will connect you with amazing adoption counselors and birth mother support groups, free of charge. You can talk through any difficult emotions or doubts you’re having and walk away feeling supported and strong. This time may be tough, but we will give you as much support as you need to feel comfortable throughout your adoption journey.
You should never feel like a burden, either. Your friends and family love you, and it’s okay to reach out for help. When you’re going through a tough time, it may be your instinct to isolate yourself. But people will want to understand and support you when you show them you need it.
You can handle adoption — not just because you’ll have support, but because you’re brave enough to take the first step.
Facing Your Adoption Fears in New York
Adoption may be frightening, but you dare to make confident, informed decisions throughout the way that will lead your child to an amazing life. You’ve taken a bold first step in your adoption journey. You have the strength to get through, and our specialists at Adoption Choices of New York are here to support you every step of the way. Never be afraid to reach out — the moment you choose adoption, you’ll see just how capable you are.
Meet the Author: Tara Giuffre has always loved reading and writing and grew up in the worlds of Narnia, Harry Potter and A Series of Unfortunate Events. Taking this passion for stories, she received a degree from Rutgers University in Journalism & Media. Besides writing, she likes long walks on the beach, spending time with her family (and her cat, Sansa), and baking the perfect loaf of bread.
She enjoys sharing vital information about adoption and birth mothers choosing adoption to families making important choices for their future family!