Creating a good first impression can be a little bit nerve-wracking, even when you’re not meeting face-to-face. When you’re adopting a child, that first impression comes in the form of your adoptive family profile.
Your profile is what introduces you to birth mothers. After we narrow the birth mother’s choices by selecting families who meet certain criteria she might have and have approved a match, the birth mother then has the opportunity to browse these profiles to get to know you and choose the family that seems like the best fit for the baby.
As you can imagine, it’s essential to create a great adoptive family profile that tells your story. However, there’s no need to be nervous: this is your opportunity to shine! Here are a few tips for creating a profile that sets your family apart.
Tell Your Story
Keep it rich with details! Here are a few questions to consider when you’re writing your story.
- What is your background like? If you’re married, how did you meet?
- Why would you be a great parent?
- Do you have other children or pets?
- What is your job like? Is it flexible enough that you can leave early to go to a dance recital, for example?
- What are your religious beliefs and practices?
- Do you have family close by to help with the child? Will the baby be able to get to know her grandparents?
- What are your hobbies and interests? How do you spend free time?
- Where do you go on vacation?
- Where will the child go to school?
- What’s daily life like in your house?
- What’s great about your community?
- Why did you choose adoption?
Answer the Birth Mother’s Questions in Advance
When someone chooses to place a baby for adoption, it can be for a variety of reasons, but it’s a choice made from love. The birth mother wants the best for her child, and she wants to know how you will provide that. For example, she might feel that she cannot create a safe environment for a baby, or that she cannot provide opportunities for him as he grows. Think about how you can answer those concerns in your story: Will my baby be safe? Will she be loved? Will she have opportunities for success in life?
Speak Directly to the Birth Mother
Imagine you’re sitting down with her: what would you say? Some families like to include a letter directly to her, thanking her for the opportunity to love and raise her child. Communication is key.
Photos are a must. Share photos of you at home, work, and on vacation; share photos of your other children and pets; share photos of your home and community. Give the birth mother an opportunity to really envision what life might be like for the child if she chooses you.
Videos are also an option, but not all families choose to include them. This could be an opportunity to really set yourself apart. You could do video introductions, guided tours of your home and community, or a little movie of your last family gathering, vacation, or special event.
Don’t Edit Yourself…Yet
When you start your profile, write down as much as you can think of. Getting it all out there will help you delve into the details that really make your family unique. We don’t want a novel-length profile, but we do want it to be detailed and specific; after your rough draft, go through and organize the information into categories such as:
- Personal Background
- Decision to Adopt
- Parenting Style
- Home Life
- Hobbies and Interests
- Extended Family
From there, edit and refine to create a clear, polished vision of who you are as a family.
Take a deep breath. This profile is a chance to show a birth mother why you would be the ideal family for her child, but every birth mother has different priorities. While you can think ahead to address concerns they might have, don’t try to please all of them, or you’ll create a profile that looks nothing like you.
Instead, as you write your profile, focus on your child, the one who is waiting to come home to you. For that child, you are the perfect family, just as you are. Write from that place of love, and you’ll create a unique, attention-grabbing profile that finds its way to the right birth mother.
Ask for Help
You’re not on your own here! Getting the opinions of close friends and family will help to accentuate the greatest parts about you and your family. Ask for their advice and have them review what you create. The people closest to you know you better than you think. They’ll likely have insights you wouldn’t have thought about.
We’ve also helped many families like yours create their profiles, and we’re here to guide you, too. We’ll give you the framework to begin and suggest edits if we think you might have missed something. It’s part of our commitment to guiding you through the adoption process from beginning to end and beyond.