Common Questions Birth Mothers have about Adoption
If you’re facing an unplanned pregnancy (especially during the year 2020), you probably have more questions than answers right about now. You have a lot of unexpected changes in front of you, and you’re trying to navigate a process you’ve likely never had experience with before. But we have you covered at Adoption Choices of New York!
Here are some common questions birth mothers have about adoption:
1. I’m Pregnant. What Now? What are My Options?
It’s hard to know where to start. This is an entirely new thing for you, so the first thought on your mind is generally going to be a very broad “What do I do now?” To simplify what you have in front of you, there are three different options when facing an unplanned pregnancy. You can parent the child, terminate the pregnancy or place your baby for adoption.
At Adoption Choices of New York, you can get in contact with one of our adoption specialists to talk with you about each of the options available to you, and help figure out what is best for you in your specific situation. This consultation is free for you, and is a great place to start if you have questions, so feel free to reach out today.
2. Are There Different Types of Adoption?
Yes! Adoptions can have different levels of openness, depending on the agreement between the birth parents and the adoptive parents. There are three levels of openness: closed, semi-open and open adoptions. Closed adoptions mean there is no contact between the birth parents and the adoptee and adoptive parents. Closed adoptions used to be the norm, but, because of the many benefits to open adoptions, nearly all adoptions now have some degree of openness.
An open adoption means the birth parents and adoptee and adoptive parents have open contact with each other. Every relationship will be different, and how much contact will depend on what each party is comfortable with and have agreed on together previously. Semi-open adoptions are somewhere in between. You and the adoptee and adoptive parents have the ability to contact each other, but that contact is mediated through the adoption agency to allow for more privacy.
3. Can I Pick the Adoptive Family?
Absolutely! Part of the adoption process is the matching process. You can take a look through picture profiles, which are like mini-scrapbooks, of possible adoptive families. You can also meet the prospective adoptive parents before making your decision.
If you’re worried about whether adoptive families will provide safe environments for your child to be raised in, know that that adoptive parents always go through a screening process that includes background checks, financial reviews, interviews, home and neighborhood evaluations and other measures to ensure the environment is safe and will be a good home for a new adoptee.
4. Can I Know how My Child is doing after Adoption?
This depends on the level of openness of the adoption. In a closed adoption, for instance, there is no contact between birth parents and the adoptee. However, if you choose to have a semi-open or open adoption, you can check in on how your child is doing as they grow up, either with mediation from the adoption agency or through direct contact.
5. What if I can’t Afford the Medical Expenses of Pregnancy?
If you are worried about how much of a financial burden adoption would cause you as a birth mother — don’t! Medical expenses that aren’t covered by insurance will be covered by the adoptive parents. If you are struggling with living expenses or other related expenses, there are many financial assistance options available to birth mothers who are placing their children for adoption. Legal services and counseling are also available to birth mothers for free at Adoption Choices of New York.
6. What about the Birth Father?
The amount of involvement of the birth father is highly dependent on your specific situation and on state laws. You are welcome to contact our in-house legal counsel (again, free of charge to you) to discuss birth father rights in New York and get counsel on your specific situation.
7. What Resources are Available to Me?
Though it may be scary to face the unexpected, you don’t have to face it alone! There are plenty of resources out there for you. If you haven’t already, you can always contact one of our adoption specialists for more information and resources specific to your situation. You are also always welcome to check out our resources and blog pages for more information, and you can find us on Facebook.
Speaking of Facebook, there are Facebook groups for all members of the adoption triad. You can search for groups and chat with people who have already gone through what you’re going through to get advice, information and resources that helped them when they went through it.
7 Common Questions Birth Mothers have about Adoption
We aren’t able to answer every question in this short article, but we hope we’ve answered some of your most pressing questions and have pointed you in the direction to get answers for the rest of your questions. For some more quick answers to common questions, visit our FAQ. If you still have questions, it’s okay to ask! We’re here to help. Feel free to reach out today and we will work to get your questions answered.
Meet the Author: Darby Summers is an avid fan of fantasy and sci-fi stories in all mediums, and aspires to share a story of her own to add to the genres she has adored her entire life. Raised in a house with the rule: “You can stay up as late as you want, as long as you’re reading”, Darby’s passion for reading, literature, and language was inspired at a young age, and continued through her achievement of a Bachelor’s in English from Allegheny College in 2017.
Darby is currently writing blog posts for Adoption Choices of New York, and is enjoying the opportunity to be part of helping families find each other and a source of information and support throughout what can be a very difficult time in life.
When she isn’t absorbed in the latest series to capture her attention, Darby enjoys working on cosplays and going to cons with friends. Her perfect night consists of staying in playing games (of the video, board or card varieties), making some delicious homemade pizza, and settling in on the couch for a movie with her husband, Adam, and cat, Sylvie. (187)