5 Ways to Bond with Your Child’s Adoptive Parents in an Open Adoption
There are several benefits to open adoptions. One of the best benefits is the sense of family that can be created among birth parents, adoptive parents and the adoptee. But, it can be awkward to go from basically strangers to new family members. Here are 5 suggestions for ways to bond with your child’s adoptive parents in an open adoption.
- Have Family Get-Togethers
One way to bond with adoptive parents is to spend time together having fun. This can come in a variety of forms, depending on what shared interests you may have with the adoptive parents. Sharing family meals, doing wine tastings together or having family potlucks are great ways to gather around food and drink. Watching sports together can also be a fun way to bond if you share an interest in a particular team or sport. Or, if you’re all fans of the same tv show, you can plan watch parties or watch the premiere or finale of a season together if you watch live tv.
Another great get-together is game nights. Now, don’t go pulling out Monopoly, which is notorious for ruining friendships. There are a number of games that are focused around just having fun or getting to know people. Games like Would You Rather? may have a bit of a ridiculous element to them, but can also be good conversation starters. A really excellent game for getting to know people is The Hygge Game, which isn’t so much a game as a deck of cards with questions to start conversation.
- Spend Holidays Together
If you and the adoptive parents are comfortable with it, invite each other over for some holidays. Share a 4th of July barbeque with them or have a picnic potluck over Labor Day weekend. There are a variety of ways you can celebrate Mother’s Day (and Birth Mother’s Day, the Saturday before Mother’s Day) together, if that’s something you’re comfortable celebrating.
If you and the adoptive parents share the same religious background, attending religious services together during holidays can be a good way to bond as well. If you have different religious backgrounds, spending time together learning about those religious backgrounds and participating respectfully can also help you form a closer bond and understand each other better.
- Go on a Trip or Retreat Together
The process of adoption is a very special one, and it can be a good idea to take some time out to reflect on it away from the stresses of everyday life. Getting away for a special weekend trip with the adoptive parents can help you bond before the adoption is finalized, or you can take a trip with the whole adoptive triad after finalizing your open adoption.
One possibility could be finding a formalized ‘retreat’ for adoptive families. But if you can’t find a formal retreat, you can make your trip your own. Just make sure you plan a good balance of some together time and some individual time so each person can have time to process whatever they’re feeling on their own as well. Some ideas for things to do together include: hiking, team building activities, icebreaker conversations and sharing photo albums and memories together.
- Set Up Online Communication
The suggestions above are all well and good for years when we aren’t going through a global pandemic; but, during unprecedented times, or if you simply don’t live near each other or can’t travel to each other, it can be beneficial to establish some online communication.
You can set up a group chat using Facebook or another social media platform. You can also use video conferencing apps like ZOOM to host scheduled meetings or just to hang out. Whether you use these online communication tools or not, it can be nice to have them set up just for peace of mind of being able to reach family members when you need to.
- Write Old-Fashioned Letters
If you’re a fan of nostalgia or sentimentality, writing letters and sending them via the postal service can be a meaningful way to keep a physical record that you can cherish and even share with the adoptee as they grow up. It can be nice to have something special just for these relationships.
If you aren’t so comfortable with a lot of face-to-face bonding time, writing letters can be a way to connect and bond with the adoptive parents while still having an amount of comfortable distance.
Ways to Bond with Your Child’s Adoptive Parents in an Open Adoption
However you want to bond with your child’s adoptive parents, find what works for you. What interests do you share with the adoptive parents? The thing you have most in common will of course be your child, the adoptee. Simply getting updates about your child or spending time with the adoptive parents and adoptee can be bonding.
If you’re not sure if an open adoption is right for you, you can learn more about the different types of adoption or speak to one of our adoption specialists today. Adoption Choices of New York is available to assist with your adoption plan. Call us, text us, email us; we are here for you!
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Meet the Author: Darby Summers is an avid fan of fantasy and sci-fi stories in all mediums, and aspires to share a story of her own to add to the genres she has adored her entire life. Raised in a house with the rule: “You can stay up as late as you want, as long as you’re reading”, Darby’s passion for reading, literature, and language was inspired at a young age, and continued through her achievement of a Bachelor’s in English from Allegheny College in 2017.
When she isn’t absorbed in the latest series to capture her attention, Darby enjoys working on cosplays and going to cons with friends. Her perfect night consists of staying in playing games (of the video, board or card varieties), making some delicious homemade pizza, and settling in on the couch for a movie with her husband, Adam, and cat, Sylvie.
