5 Great Qualities to Look For In Adoptive Parents
When you come to the decision to place your baby for adoption, you might go through many different scenarios in your head about what your child’s life will look like as they grow up. You might wonder what your child’s adoptive family will look like. Who will fit into your child’s life? Who will guide them, mold them as they learn and grow?
Luckily, through adoption, this is something you have some control over. You will have the opportunity to select an adoptive family for your child that suits your desires for their future. There are certain qualities to look for in adoptive parents that will help guide you as you pick the right match for your child. The pregnancy may have been unplanned, but who you choose as adoptive parents, doesn’t have to be!
At Adoption Choices of New York, we will help you along the way as you find the adoptive family that you envision for your child.
1) A Family Who Fits Your Personal Wants and Needs
Write a list of goals, deal-breakers and qualities that are important to you. For example, there are qualities in parents that would be good for any child. However, you may have specific desires that are personal to you. Would you like your child to be raised to share your faith? Would you like your child to be raised with similar ideas to you? The same race? Or maybe a household with pets? Maybe you want your child to be placed with a larger family with many siblings, or one that’s just starting out. This may help you narrow your choices down. There is no right or wrong with this. These preferences are specific to you as a person. It can be helpful to figure these out when you’re stuck between a few choices.
2) Readiness to Parent
You’ll want adoptive parents that are ready to parent. In a two-parent household, this means both parents want a child. They are both enthusiastic about welcoming a new life into their universe. These parents really want to become parents or they are enthusiastic about growing their family. This could also include more concrete plans, such as a house with space for a new child (or plans to make space), setting aside the proper finances, or just thinking ahead in general. Readiness can be one of the most important qualities to look for in adoptive parents.
3) Eagerness Towards Adoption
While readiness to parent in general is important, an eagerness towards adoption specifically is important, too. Adoptive parents should be ready to accept the adoptee as their own child. They should have a positive attitude towards adoption and a commitment to raising your child as their own. These prospective adoptive parents should not be too hesitant if they are at this stage of the adoption process.
4) Good Communication
Especially if you choose an open or semi-open adoption, you’ll want to see signs of good communication between you and the prospective adoptive family. Timeliness and respect are great indicators of good communicators. If you are going to be scheduling calls with the adoptive family, for instance, you’ll want to see that they are going to honor the commitment to communicating with you.
5) Kindness and Empathy
When you are able to speak with prospective adoptive families, kindness and empathy can go a long way. If an adoptive family, for some reason, does not treat you with respect or kindness, they may not be the best fit for your child. You are making a loving choice to place your baby for adoption, so you deserve kindness, too. If the prospective adoptive family is kind to you, it’s likely they will raise your child with the same kindness and respect.
Selecting Adoptive Parents for Your Child
Remember that you should not be afraid to ask the adoptive parents direct questions when you’re deciding between families. This can help you realize who really clicks with you, whose personalities you like, and who you can envision raising your child. You shouldn’t feel as if you are offending anyone. There are families out there who would be wonderful parents but don’t fit exactly what you are looking for for your child. Remember that ultimately, often these qualities to look for in adoptive parents are specific to you and your child.
At Adoption Choices of New York, we will advocate for you. We’ll help you find the best adoptive family to suit the future you envision for your child. Adoption Choices of New York is available to assist with your adoption plan. Call us, text us, email us; we are here for you!
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Meet the Author: Tara Giuffre has always loved reading and writing and grew up in the worlds of Narnia, Harry Potter and A Series of Unfortunate Events. Taking this passion for stories, she received a degree from Rutgers University in Journalism & Media. Besides writing, she likes long walks on the beach, spending time with her family (and her cat, Sansa), and baking the perfect loaf of bread.
She enjoys sharing vital information about adoption and birth mothers choosing adoption to families making important choices for their future family!