How Can I Involve My Family in My NY Adoption Plan?
Deciding to place your child for adoption can be a stressful, confusing time. Involving a support system to help you through the adoption process can be a great way to help make it a bit easier. If there are people in your life you know you can trust, it might be a good idea to reach out to them so you can have someone to rely on during this difficult time. We know how much of a struggle facing this alone can be, so we included some tips below on how you can include your family in your adoption plan.
At Adoption Choices of New York, we believe that pregnant women deserve a healthy support system in their life whether the pregnancy is planned or not. If, for any reason, you feel like you don’t have adequate support, we have adoption counselors who can help you during the process.
How Can I Involve My Family in My Adoption Plan?
Family is important. They are often who we rely on in hard times, and who we turn to when we need advice. Your family doesn’t have to be restricted to the people you are related to either. Family is also the people we choose — this could be your childhood best friend, your partner, or your or the high school teacher you kept in contact with long after graduation.
Figuring out how to approach your family with your adoption plan can be tricky. It can also be a great way to make your journey less difficult. Here are 5 steps you can take to involve your family in your adoption plan.
- Choose Who You will Turn To
Not everyone in your life may be ready to give you the support you need during this time, and you may suspect they will react negatively to your decision to choose adoption. If you know there are people in your family who will try to change your mind or make you feel guilty about the decision you’ve made — they might not be the first people you want to tell. It is important to put yourself first during this time, and you will want to rely on people who will have your back no matter what.
While you may want to include everyone in your decision at some point, it’ll be easier to approach difficult family members if you already have supportive people on your side.
- Plan What You are Going to Say
Before approaching your family with your adoption plan, you may have questions buzzing around in your head like:
- How do I bring this up in conversation?
- When should I tell them?
- What am I going to say if they aren’t supportive?
- How do I make sure I remember everything I need to say without forgetting something important?
When you involve your family in your adoption plan, it may be helpful to think about what you are going to say beforehand. You can make notes in your phone to remind yourself of important topics, practice the conversation with yourself so you can prepare for different responses, or even just write your family member a letter. You should do whatever makes you feel most comfortable and prepared.
- Set Healthy Boundaries
People are unpredictable and sometimes do things we do not expect. If you realize that your family is overstepping your boundaries, it can be difficult to figure out what to do. It’s important to make sure that people aren’t pressuring, or trying to mold your adoption plan into what they want it to look like.
Setting firm boundaries can be a great way to avoid these issues, and it doesn’t mean you don’t love your family. Boundaries look different for everyone, but here are a few examples:
- Discuss your expectations of your family’s behavior with them beforehand.
- Let them know there are behaviors you won’t tolerate, and if they keep doing them, they won’t be as involved in your adoption journey.
- Limit the amount of contact with your family member if they are unable to support you.
Setting boundaries will look different for everybody. It’s important to sit down and figure out what is best for you.
- Ask for Advice
Giving your baby up for adoption can be confusing, and there are a lot of decisions to be made like:
- “Should I have an open, semi-open or closed adoption?”
- “What do I want my adoptive family to be like?”
- “What do I want to include in my birth plan?”
When you have supportive people in your circle, tackling these questions becomes a lot easier. Having these conversations with your family can give you better insight to what your adoption journey should be like. As long as you make sure you are still prioritizing your own needs, asking your family for advice is a great resource.
- Rely on Them for Support
Before, during, and after adoption you may have some difficult feelings. You may be sad or confused, and these feelings are perfectly valid. Adoption can be a stressful time, and relying on your family is a great way to help you cope. Going through your adoption journey alone is hard, and supportive family can be a great resource.
How We can Help You Involve Your Family in Your Adoption Journey
Asking yourself the question, “How can I involve my family in my adoption plan?” can seem daunting. We are here to help you with all aspects of your adoption journey, and this includes giving you advice on how to involve your family in your adoption plan. Our adoption counselors are here to empower you to make the decisions that are best for you.
About the Author: Alexandra Georgiton is a fourth-year student at the University of Cincinnati studying Rhetoric and Professional Writing, and is receiving certification in Copyediting and Publishing. She has been passionate about the English language for her entire life, and reading and writing have always been her favorite hobbies. She enjoys professional writing and editing because she loves to use her talent and love of writing to make a difference in the world.