3 Things New York Birth Mothers Want Adoptive Families to Know
Choosing adoption is one of the most selfless things a mother can do. When birth mothers in New York choose adoption, it’s usually not a decision that’s made in a day. It can be difficult, emotional, and sometimes painful, but when birth mothers choose adoption, they choose a journey that will change their lives forever. And when they choose an adoptive family, there are many things birth mothers want New York adoptive families to know. At Adoption Choices of New York, we offer all kinds of adoption, including open adoption, where the birth mother and adoptive family might get to know each other through the adoption journey. Here are some things all birth mothers would want adoptive families to know before they choose to continue on with the adoption process.
- Birth Mothers Love Their Children
A mother’s love is one of the strongest forces in the world — no matter the circumstances. Birth mothers love their children just like anyone else. Just because they aren’t parenting their children doesn’t mean their love vanishes. Birth mothers look forward to pictures, updates, and details about the adoptee’s life. Since they don’t get to see day-to-day experiences, even details that seem minuscule to some are valuable. Favorite songs, food, and funny stories may not be as exciting as milestones, but they’re unique to the adoptee as an individual.The gesture of sharing the adoptee’s life with the birth mother makes her feel included in the adoptee’s life, even if they’re not our experiences. As a birth mother, it’s guaranteed that she’ll miss out on a lot. Maybe everything. Many birth mothers know that not everyone gets the experience to get updates about their children from amazing adoptive families like yours. So birth mothers feel lucky and grateful to hear about the child’s life, knowing that he or she is happy with their adoptive family.
- Birth Mothers Choose Carefully
Choosing an adoptive family for the adoptee is one of the most important decisions a birth mother will make in her entire life. So when it comes time to choose an adoptive family, birth mothers take it seriously. There’s a lot to consider: age, relationship status, religion, culture, lifestyle, and more.So when a birth mother chooses your family, know that she has chosen thoughtfully. She saw your profile and knew you were the right fit. It’s not always instant, but sometimes, a birth mother sees a family and just knows this is the one she was waiting for to raise her child. Birth mothers don’t choose adoption just so their child can land with anyone that isn’t her. She wants a good life for her child, the one she envisioned when she chose adoption in the first place. Birth mothers love their children just like any other parent and therefore want the best for the adoptee. As an adoptive parent, you should feel special knowing that a great deal of consideration went into choosing you as the adoptive parent to your child.
- The Adoptee Should Know About Adoption in New York
Birth mothers know that they don’t have control over parenting the adoptee. They know that the big decisions come up to you, the adoptive family, and they trust you to raise the adoptee as your own flesh and blood. However, one of the most important things birth mothers want New York adoptive families to know is that the adoptee should know all about adoption as soon as they can understand. The earlier they know that they’re adopted and what that means, the more love they will feel. They will understand that their adoptive family loves them and that you are all family. The adoptee will understand that his or her birth mother loves them enough to choose a better life for them.For the birth mother, the adoptee knowing about their adoption is less about the birth mother and more about the adoptee’s wellbeing. If the adoptee learns about adoption too late, they may become confused. When the adoptive family explains adoption to the adoptee at an early age, he or she is more likely to feel loved and understood, avoiding the tropes of identity and abandonment issues.
Start Your Adoption Journey Today
At Adoption Choices of New York, we’ll make sure you and your adoptive family are a great match. Your adoptive family will know all of the things birth mothers want New York adoptive families to know, and you’ll feel comfortable knowing your child is placed with a great family. You can start your adoption journey knowing that you’re making the best choice for your child.
Meet the Author: Tara Giuffre has always loved reading and writing and grew up in the worlds of Narnia, Harry Potter and A Series of Unfortunate Events. Taking this passion for stories, she received a degree from Rutgers University in Journalism & Media. Besides writing, she likes long walks on the beach, spending time with her family (and her cat, Sansa), and baking the perfect loaf of bread.
She enjoys sharing vital information about adoption and birth mothers choosing adoption to families making important choices for their future family!