14 and Pregnant in New York – Help!
Pregnancy at a young age can be a scary and confusing time, but it’s also a time where you will need the most support. There is a lot of information that is going to be coming at you fast regarding your unplanned pregnancy and all the options available for you. If you’ve decided to put your baby up for adoption, there are a ton of resources and support ready for you.
At Adoption Choices of New York, we have an informative blog filled with tons of information for birth mothers covering a variety of topics as well as general adoption information to get you started.
Pregnant Teenager; Where To Start
At the beginning of your adoption journey, there are going to be a ton of choices to make. Will you use an adoption agency? If so, which one? What kind of adoption do you want?
Don’t be intimidated by the amount of detail that goes into the adoption process. We’re here to help! You won’t be going through this alone. One of the best things to start with is choosing your adoption agency and ensuring they’re the right fit for you. Remember, you are in complete control of the adoption process and you should feel comfortable with who you’re working with and how they’re handling it.
There will be many tough decisions to make. One of the most impactful decisions will be what type of adoption you’re looking into. There are three different kinds: open, semi-open and closed. Most adoptions have an element of openness to them that is completely decided on by you, and agreed upon by the adoptive parents. Deciding if you want to be a part of your child’s life is a big moment so don’t rush to a decision if you’re unsure.
Support from Other Birth Mothers
The process of adoption is a team effort. You need support to help you through this time in your life. Hearing stories from other young birth mothers can be a good way to help you sort through your own emotions and help you feel less alone. First hand experiences are a good indicator on how accurate your expectations are for your own adoption journey. Talking through your options with women who have been in the same situation as you can be extremely beneficial — especially if you’re on the fence about anything. Being 14 and pregnant is already a complicated situation, but you don’t have to feel alone, ashamed or helpless. You’re not the first girl to go through this, and you won’t be the last. So, don’t try and navigate through it by yourself!
Different Types of Adoptions
Modern adoptions, for the most part, have some sort of open communication between the birth mother and child and/or the adoptive parents. With semi-open adoptions, you can decide on less direct forms of communication like letter writing, email updates or phone calls. Semi-open adoption keeps you in your child’s life with a safety net if you’re not completely comfortable with seeing your child in person.
Open adoptions include face-to-face encounters and more involvement in physically being in your child’s life. Attending games, recitals and graduations for example. Closed are as they sound, no communication. Guidelines for all three types of adoptions are made by you and the adoptive parents must adhere to boundaries you have set. Some adoptive parents may want to tweak or alter certain aspects and those discussions are often mediated by lawyers and your adoption professional. This way both parties come out satisfied with the framework of the adoption before signing the agreement.
Beginning the Search for Adoptive Parents
How do you find the right adoptive parents for your child? Who will give them the best life? Well, that all depends on what you’ve envisioned for your child. As the birth mother, you are in complete control. At 14 and pregnant, you may feel completely out of your league in regards to this portion of the adoption, but that’s what our adoption professionals are for! We will guide you through each step and help you decipher any specific details you want the potential adoptive parents to have.
Adoptive parents submit parent profile books that are basically a giant scrapbook full of photos and information about them, their lives and families. These books will give you a visual of what they look like and what their lives look like. Meeting prospective adoptive parents in person will give you a fully rounded look at them, and help decipher if you feel they’re a good fit or not for your baby. Many couples and individuals looking to adopt go in knowing there is a high chance the adoption will be open or semi-open too.
Financial Assistance for Women Choosing Adoption
With unexpected pregnancy comes unexpected costs that not everyone is able to pay for. Thankfully, there are some government funded programs that young birth mothers can apply for to help with medical bills and pregnancy related costs. Once you’ve decided on the adoptive parents, they may offer to help pay for prenatal care and part of your hospital stay. If you’re uninsured, there are programs your adoption professional can help you apply for — like government or state health insurance — to cover the cost of your hospital stay and any prenatal doctor visits.
14 and Pregnant – Help!
At 14 and pregnant, there are a lot of big life decisions ahead of you, but remember you’re not alone. There are many other young girls and women who have been in the same situation as you and have chosen to put their baby up for adoption. Ultimately, you are choosing what is best for you and your child despite how hard of a road it can be. Remember, you are being selfless, compassionate and strong beyond your years to provide the best life you can for your child.
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