10 Different Types of Birth Mothers in New York & Why They Choose Adoption
Adoption is not a one-size-fits-all scenario. The same goes for birth mothers. All birth mothers may face the same choice and be able to relate to each other in some way, but they are all as unique as their adoption journey. They all have different reasons and motivations for choosing to place their baby for adoption, depending on their personal circumstances. You may even know someone who has chosen adoption in the past, be it a friend, family member, or friend of a friend. Perhaps you even know someone who has been adopted. Whether you realize it or not, adoption is very common and happening all around you every day. At Adoption Choices of New York, we work with birth mothers from all walks of life. We offer an empowering, compassionate and non-judgmental environment for her to process her emotions and thoughts, and learn about her options when it comes to an unplanned pregnancy. The moment she walks through the doors, throughout her adoption journey, she will be treated with nothing but the utmost respect. Our adoption agency is proud to help all different types of birth mothers have a successful and positive adoption journey.
1) Teenage Birth Mothers
There’s a natural assumption that all birth mothers are teenagers. This is not true. Teenage birth mothers are certainly one of the many types of birth mothers our adoption center in New York encounters, but that’s far from all of them.
Teenage birth mothers choose adoption for a variety of reasons. Whether it’s because they still have their own childhood to experience or want to finish school — the list goes on. Having a child in your own teen years, when your hopes and dreams are taking shape and you’re beginning to learn who you are as a person can irrevocably change your life. Many teenagers who become pregnant unexpectedly feel embarrassed and scared, and place their baby for adoption because they know they aren’t ready to raise him or her.
2) Survivors of Rape/Abuse
Unfortunately, many women who choose adoption are survivors of rape or abusive relationships. Both of these can cause a lot of trauma and emotional damage. Thus, the birth mother may choose adoption because she isn’t emotionally or physically able to raise the child or doesn’t live in a safe environment to give him or her the life they deserve. Another reason could be that she doesn’t want to keep the child, for fear it would remind her of her abuser. Each and every birth mother is different. Yet, at the end of the day, she sees adoption as the best option. She knows that she wants her child to be raised in a safe space where they will be loved, happy and healthy.
3) Professional Birth Mothers
Some birth mothers are committed to their careers. Perhaps she has just found her dream job or been offered a huge promotion. With this, the birth mother may choose adoption because she knows she can’t provide her child with the quality time, love and care she wants for them. Climbing the ladder in the professional world is not easy to do, and raising a child could create a distraction or obstacle in her furthering what she wants to accomplish.
4) Drug-Addicted Birth Mothers
Many expectant mothers may struggle with an addiction to drugs or alcohol. If she doesn’t have stable housing or chooses to continue in her addiction, she may choose adoption for her child. Another reason why addicted birth mothers may place her baby for adoption is because she doesn’t want him or her raised in an unhealthy or unsafe environment. She realizes that her child deserves a loving, safe, and happy home.
5) Single Birth Mothers
Another kind of birth mother regards single women who experience an unplanned pregnancy. Raising a child alone can seem overwhelming and impossible for some expectant mothers. So, a single birth mother may choose adoption because of this. Maybe she didn’t see herself having children. Perhaps she wants to have a family at some point in the future, but she isn’t emotionally, physically or financially able to in her current stage in life.
6) Birth Mothers in Committed Relationships
Believe it or not, many birth mothers are in committed relationships, whether this means they are dating, married or in a domestic partnership. Just like with the other types of birth mothers, though, they, too, may turn to adoption if they are not ready to have a family. This could be a financial issue, or not feeling as though it’s the right time.
7) Undocumented Birth Mothers
Birth mothers can also be undocumented women who are experiencing an unplanned pregnancy. With the threat of deportation and not having citizenship, undocumented birth mothers often choose adoption to ensure the health and security of their child. She understands that adoption will give him or her their best chance at life, and that, because they were born in the United States, they will be safe from the challenges she has to face.
8) Birth Mothers Who Already Have Children
Some expectant mothers who choose adoption already have children and know they cannot dedicate the required amount of time, money, or energy to properly raise another child. She accepts that the best choice for her family is to place her baby for adoption so that an adoptive family can provide the adoptee with everything he or she needs.
9) Homeless Birth Mothers
Adoption is an option for birth mothers who are homeless, and who have become pregnant unexpectedly. Especially if she doesn’t have shelter, caring for herself day-to-day is her main priority. She knows that she doesn’t have the means to raise a child at this point in her life and that her child deserves the best that life can offer them.
10) Incarcerated Birth Mothers
The tenth most common type of birth mother is a woman who is about to be incarcerated or is already serving her sentence in prison. Whether she becomes pregnant inside or outside of prison, she knows that she cannot raise her child behind bars. So, instead of allowing her child to be put into the system, she may choose adoption to ensure that he or she finds a loving adoptive family who will give them a better and brighter future.
Birth Mothers Come in All Shapes and Sizes
As you can see, there are different types of birth mothers come from all different backgrounds and walks of life. She can be anyone and choose adoption for any reason. If you have chosen adoption, whether you are in one of the above categories or not, you should know that your choice is valid. You are making a loving choice for your child.
At Adoption Choices of New York, we have resources available to help you, no matter your circumstances. We will do everything we can to support you on your adoption journey. We will never judge you, will protect your privacy and do all we can for you and your baby. Whatever your reason, choosing adoption is such a loving gift to your child and the adoptive family who will raise him or her.
Meet the Author: Tara Giuffre has always loved reading and writing and grew up in the worlds of Narnia, Harry Potter and A Series of Unfortunate Events. Taking this passion for stories, she received a degree from Rutgers University in Journalism & Media. Besides writing, she likes long walks on the beach, spending time with her family (and her cat, Sansa), and baking the perfect loaf of bread.
She enjoys sharing vital information about adoption and birth mothers choosing adoption to families making important choices for their future family!